—————————- Legions of Lucifer —————————–
.o. Carding .o. Phreaking .o. Hacking .o. Anarchy .o. Piracy .o. Crashing .o.
Written
by: Garfield Date: 07/14/90
Edited by : Captain Swashbuckler Legions of Lucifer
Text # 8
Part 1 out of 1
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A Cheap
Lil’ Guide to ‘Professional Housebombing / Homewrecking’
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Legions of Lucifer (’l‚jen ov l–cifÃ…Â r) n. 1. Any multitude of followers
of the chief evil
spirit, Satan. 2. A group of Anarchists and Computer
Experts that work together as one to
cause havok in the anarchy bound
society of this nation.
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A Cheap
Lil’ Guide to ‘Professional’ Housebombing / Homewrecking
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Ed
note: When does the madness end! Haha! I have been contemplating
the creation of this file for
QUITE some time now, but have FINALLY got
around to doing it. I want to dedicate [hah!] this
file to the
managers/head cashiers at Farmer Jack store #39 in Roseville, Michigan
who
made my life such hell, they pushed me to this brink of insanity…
First off, you have
to have a mark. Ours was easy. Myself and four
close friends were screwed by management at
this damn cheapass grocery
store when we were still wet behind the ears, we followed them
and
tracked them ALL down, except for one. I will write a file in the near
future on
tailing and evasive driving, as we learned a lot of techni-
que from this adventure.
choose a mark, be it
a manager, arch enemy, neighborhood stool pigeon,
loser modemer, whatnot. This person has
pushed you PAST the brink of
insanity, and you will stop at NOTHING to wreck their lives…
Here are
some tried and true techniques, that you may want to consider…
EGG BOMBING
Initially, go to a party store or grocery store and pick up a dozen
eggs. Or any amount. We have ripped through 4 dozen EASILY in an hour
before, so.. I recommend
buying Jumbos. They cost more, but they
‘pack a bigger punch’ and cause picture windows to
shimmy upon impact.
Also, for the economist, most Meijer grocery stores sell an 18 pack,
that we find quite useful. If you REALLY have it out for the mark,
you may either hardboil
them, as this will do WONDERS for windows!
Hah! Or else, you MAY consider putting them in a
bucket in your
backyard, and let them sit there for about 4 days of good hot sun, will
will cause them to spoil and emit a raunchy odor. Remember, maybe the
mark may need his
smelling tested…
First off, casually drive by a few times, make mental notes, and
get
ready. We suggest looking for things such as open windows in the front
of the mark’s
house, lights, neighbor’s activity, cars etc. At one
job, I doused the lights and me and a
buddy hopped out, and a guy
down the block flashed his headlights at us and saw us wearing
ski
masks, and saw us turn the block with a cardboard plate, and proceeded
to chase us
for about 2 miles, until I lost him on a local freeway.
Another time, I caught a guy fucking
his girlfriend 200 feet away from
our prospective job, so I merely gave him the brights,
honked and gave
him the ‘thumbs up’.
We suggest either a 4 door car, or a van.
Then pull around the
block, get the ammo [eggs] opened up, and easily accessible. Egg
cartons usually are styrofoam, or cardboard and can be torn, so each
man gets a section
bearing 3-4 henfruits. Have one accomplice get out
of the vehicle and either place a fast food
paper bag over the license
plate, or as we prefer, have a precut piece of cardboard to :
, which are the dimensions of North American license plates. [ Note:
does not include
motorcycle plates which are smaller, duh!] Use duct
tape to securely fasten the cardboard to
the plate framework. Then
proceed to take a piece of cardboard, approximatley 5" x
5" and place
it over the dome light. [This is ESSENTIAL. One night we were almost
caught by a manager, except I was in the back of my friend's Escort
with my hands over the
dome light so he couldn't identify us. Then
tape the dome light cover in place, prefererably
with duct tape.
Then, have each man don a ski mask, black preferrably [our trademark],
and drive back around the block. When you get approximately 200 feet
from the mark’s
residence, turn off the headlights, and pull the car
up near the curb, but leave about 4-5
feet of leeway on the side
closest to the mark’s house for maneuverability.
The
next option, is who does the work. You have a couple options.
First, suppose you are in a car.
Cars are easy to get in and out of,
so you may want to have the driver, and two men on the
passenger side
[front + back] get out. The optional driver getting out, should only
be
done when the mark’s street is dark, easy to get out of the
subdivision very quickly etc. In
that case, have the driver out the
car in neutral, and ease it to a stop so that it is only 1
gear shift
to getaway, instead of 3. Also, this assumes a flat terrain. This
DEFINITELY
does not apply in San Francisco, where you will helplessly
look back to see your getaway
vehicle coasting down the street in
reverse.
The other main vehicle we have used
is a van. This is VERY useful,
as you can have 4 men get out VERY fast. Have a guy ride
shotgun and
get out, have 2 guys get out of the sliding door on the side, and have
one
man hop out of the back door.
For best results, you may wish to ‘lob’ the eggs, rather
than give
them a Nolan Ryan fastball. The physics of eggs causes them to
explode over a
larger region this way.
Get all of the bombers close to the house, and madly throw
eggs. We
usually had SPECIFIC targets. E.g., one man would bomb the car in the
driveway,
while another hit a picture window, while another would go for
doors, garage, etc. In any
case, the driver should NOT launch more than
three eggs, as he has to go get in, and get it in
gear, and peel away.
I suggest house bombing in the winter, when the eggs will freeze
and
people will be less reluctant to go outside in the cold to remove them.
One bitch’s
house wore our ‘treat’ for about 2 months… Also, in the
summer, cars are prime, as the
albumin in the egg does WONDERS for a
paint job.
BOLOGNA TRICK
and WILL wreck a
car’s paint job. Basically, all you do, is go to the
neighborhood butcher and buy the
slimiest, greasiest bologna, olive
loaf, etc. The go to the mark’s house/work and place it on
his vehicle.
This has to be done in the summer and on a hot day. The acids in the
meat
will cook out, and literally fry on his car. The result is, after
a few hours, a permanent
circle remains on the victim’s hood, in a
lighter shade. So for example, if he has a red car,
he may have pink
circles… Basically, it makes the vehicle look like hell, and will
force him to either pay for another paint job, or look like an ass.
MAILBOX
HYJINX
A mailbox is a sitting duck. I have hated mail boxes for years, due to
increasing postage, which I protest against. Letters should cost 10
cents to mail if the
bureaucracy didn’t embezzle, screw things up, etc.
So anyways, first determine the location of
the target. In prime
residential areas, residents usually have mailboxes at the house, and
a fun sport we call
‘Mailbox Baseball’ by driving by and having the
passenger of your car take a whack at the
thing with a bat. It can
dent the thing, and rile the mark…
Another idea is to
seal the bastard shut. This will work with ALL
mailboxes. Merely whip up a batch of mortar or
cement and leave it
wet [premade]. Drive to the mark’s house and FILL his mailbox. His
mail carrier will be shocked, and thus the mark will have to shell
out about another $30 for a
new mailbox.
One of the BEST fear tactics is to make a ‘bomb’. Most marks are
dummies and can’t tell a real bomb from an obvious fake. So here is
how to construct your
‘explosive’:
Materials:
3-4 road flares
1 Baby Ben alarm clock
1
small roll of electrician’s tape
6-7 assorted colored wires
1 pair of scissors
Piece the road flares together and hide, or tape parts
that identify
what it is. Cut a piece of electrical tape
and tape the flares together. Then tape the alarm
clock
to the flares. Then tape the wires leading from the alarm
clock region, to the
flares. Result… Fake bomb.
Then merely place it inside of the mark’s mailbox, and
upon discovering
I can ALMOST 100% guarantee that the discoverer, either the postman, or
the resident, will IMMEDIATELY notify the local police department, who
will proceed to bring
fire trucks, evacuate close residents, bring in
bomb sniffing dogs, or the bomb squad to
detonate the thing. The result
is that you have caused the mark a lot of embarressment,
including’
media coverage, neighbor’s getting pissed etc. WARNING : The bomb
squad guys
are by **NO MEANS** ‘dumb’ and will probably spot the fake
and dust it for fingerprints, so
you will want to wear gloves at ALL
times when handling its components. Note: If you are a
real cruel and
sick individual, you might as well use a real bomb…
Another
anarchical idea is to make a pipebomb, there are many fine
files, and many good books such as
the ‘Black Books’, ‘The Anarchist’s
Cookbook’, or ‘Kitchen Improvised Plastic Explosives’ that
will give
good recipes for contructing pipe bombs. Upon detonation, it will
cause the
mailbox to blow apart in ALL directions, hurling shrapnel
everywhere, so if there are small
children in the area, PLEASE do this
at night, as only the mark deserves to suffer your reign
of terror…
THE LAWN
Many marks happen to take avid pride in their
lawn and garden,
especially if they live in some ritzy area. Therefore, it would be a
warm feeling for them to see this desecrated during the night hours.
There are a few tried and
true methods to do. Some range from childish,
to devious, to downright bastardly!
The old tried and true method is the lawn job. Every teenager with a
car has done a few of
these to the neighborhood bitch, or the guy who
stole your girlfriend. Basically all you do is
drive on the lawn at a
good speed in low gear and peel out, causing grass to fly about. The
to wakeup
anyways…
Another oldie is to bleach the damn thing to death. The common method
is to take a gallon jug of bleach, and pour it on the lawn. This will
biologically kill the
chlorophyll cells in the greenery, and turn it
to albino. So soon their grass will turn white
and die. [This works
nicely also with flowers, plants, and trees!] A nice ‘touch’, is to
either write an inspiring note in bleach, such as "PAYBACKS ARE HELL",
"FUCK
THE WORLD, ANARCHY RULES", or "HELLO MR(s). x". Some anarchists
prefer to use a
calling card, similar to a cattle mark. My personal
favorite is the good old anarchy symbol :
the capital A inscribed in
a circle.
A more deviant method to the aforementioned,
would be to play with the
mark’s sprinkler system, and hook up a bottle of bleach to it at
night
[you will want to be wearing a swimsuit for this one...]. Hook the
gallon jug into
the hose setup with the top of an Ortho spray bottle,
with a LONG siphon tube going down to
within 1" of the bottom of the
bleach jug. This apparatus will run all night bleaching
the whole damn
lawn, and he will either be forced to resod, or be the owner of the
community eyesore and be ostracized by the neighbors… WARNING: Bleach
will whiten ANYTHING
[good for the mark's vehicles as well..], but also
may ruin YOUR attire, so wear beat up blue
jeans, junk tennis shoes,
and an old shirt when pulling this caper. Also avoid contact with
the
skin as it will whiten your skin and cause part of the epidermis to
die and peel
off…
Another goodie, that can be accomplished for less that $2-3, is to
buy
some bottles of finishing nails, or tacks from the local hardware
store and happily scatter
then throughout the mark’s lawn. This will
cause much pain if the mark, his children, or his
pets happen to
encounter them. This may also do wonders for his lawnmower…
Many
people annually use fertilizer to cause a more green and
asthethically appetizingly beautiful
lawn. I do not have any direct
figures, but I am sure tons of nitric fertilizer are sold
annually.
The key to this is that after all, nitric components BURN. Everyone
has heard
of nitric acid, nitroglycerine, and TNT
[2,4,6-trinitrotoluene]. Nitrogen is the key component
of all of these,
as well as nitric fertilizer which will add nitrogen to the soil to
replenish nitrogen loss. Get a nice quantity, and sprinkle it all
over his lawn, thicker the
better. If the mark does not water this
often enough, excess fertilizer will literally fry his
lawn and the
grass will die… And if you have some fertilizer left over, there
are many
fine recipes available for kitchen improvised fertilizer
explosives.
VEHICLE SABOTAGE AND DEVILTRY
I have made referrences throughout the text to different
odds and ends
you could do to a mark’s vehicle. These included the bologna trick,
bleaching the paintjob, etc. Now we are about to enter a whole new
realm of vehicle specific
sabotage. Have fun, gents!
Things to do to the gas tank [Note: You will probably need a
funnel
similar to an STP oil funnel to hold the close mechanism open. Also
some older
cars had a wire mesh screen which may need to be broken
for some of the following to have
effect. I suggest getting a snake
from your local plumbing supply store, and coating it with
rubber
tubing [metal against metal + gas = BOOM!].]:
1> Pour water in. Will
flood the engine and cause some nice
problems.
2> Do the infamous sugar trick.
Sugar will ruin the mark’s
engine.
3> Prepare a hydroxide based explosive
capsule, as prepared in
LoL #5: How to Kill Your Mother Part I.
4> Pour some
mortar or cement in the tank. You will ruin the
car. He will at LEAST need a new tank, and
some cement should
not solidify and remain in solution and work its way into the
engine,
which will cause desirable results.
5> Piss in it… What the hell… When you gotta
go, you gotta
go…
Things to do to the door locks: Locks have LONG been a
passion
of mine. I don’t appreciate the idea behind them — to keep
people out. I mean
it is more challenging… Nobody ever wants
to break into something without a lock, because it
is amateurish,
and this adds some toughness to the project and requires skill…
1> Take a key to a similar make of car, put it in, if necessary,
tap it in with a ballpeen
hammer. Once it is in and has ruined the
lock, be a gentleman and take the ballpeen hammer and
whack the
portion of the key sticking outside to shear it off, leaving the
mark with a
trip to the local locksmiths…
2> A personal favorite is to take a tube to krazy
glue and inject
it into the lock. I suppose model airplane glue [such as that
manufactured by Testor] would get the end results, but Krazy Glue
is NOTORIOUS for durability
and consistancy. Remember, only the
BEST for YOUR victim Haha! If you have a heart, you may
just get
one door… If you are like me, you will do all the doors, trunk
or hatchback.
Also, a FUN prank to pull is to take off the gascap
and wash it with a paper to dry it, and
then glue the threads, and
TIGHTLY screw it on. Works best when the mark has a near full
tank. Next time he rolls into the local Amaco, he looks like the
total fool he is when the
wimp can’t even remove a gascap…
3> Inject water into the lock. Will take some
time, but will cause
iron [III] oxide formation [rust] and cost him a new lock. Also,
in
the cold weather, it is PERFECT. Nothing like a good frozen
lock to piss someone off…
4> If you have access to burglary tools, you probably have some
kind of modified
sectional jimmy, prybar, or other device that
will enable you to quickly PULL the lock right
off [an example of
this was with Arnold Schwartzenegger in THE TERMINATOR]. Except
he
could do this with bare hands… Then after a month has passed,
mail the lock to the mark in a
box with giftwrapping and a nice
card that says ‘LOOKING FOR THIS?’…
Things to do to the exhaust system: The tailpipe has been a
popular anarchist’s target from
way back. However, it was
rejuvinated by Eddie Murphey with his famous ‘Banana in the
Tailpipe’ trick in Beverly Hills Cop. Here are some other ideas,
you may wish to
consider…
1> Backfiring substitutes: Murphey used a banana. A buddy of
mine’s favorite is an Idaho potatoe. He said bananas are so
mushy they are good, but potatoes
are harder to remove… A
practical way to do this, if you have access to machinist’s
tools,
is to take a telescoping guage, stick it up the pipe, then use a
micrometer to
measure the distance and whittle the potatoe
accordingly… The basic point is the
fruit/vegetable MUST
have some rigidity to stick… So don’t even try watermelon, and
shit like that… Other non-organic devices, such as putty,
spackling compound, cement, etc
will achieve the same results.
Be creative!
2> Tailpipes are held on by
usually 2 brackets towards the rear
of the vehicle. Climb underneath the rear end, and using a
socket
wrench, remove them, so he is driving an unsafe vehicle and will
PROBABLY get a
ticket when you do your ‘patriotic duty’ and call
the cops as soon as you see him hop in the
vehicle… I have not
done much research on this, so I do not know exact size sockets
required. I would be most appreciative if some of you field
operatives could look into this
and get back with me… Also,
you may wish to use a wire cutter or bolt cutter to remove
these
brackets.
3> A noisy muffler is a definite replacement item. Hmmm..
Perhaps
the mark’s vehicle has been rather quiet as of late… Well here
is how you
solve that problem!! Take a scratch awl and knock holes
in the bottom of the muffler, which
will cause a lot of noise, and
a repair bill for the sap.
4> For the real
pros… You may wish to aquire an old vacuum
cleaner which has a reverse emptying mode and put
gasoline inside
the waste compartment… Create a tank using a plastic milk jug,
as
there is NO need for YOU to blow yourself up… Then inject
the gasoline in the tailpipe, and
if the pressure is strong enough,
some should go all the way to the muffler. Then leave the
primises.
After the car is started and that gets warm, BAM… Need I say more?
[WARNING:
Do NOT do this to a hot muffler as the wrong person (you)
may, 'take the heat' so to
speak...]
Things to do to the windows: Windows are made of compressed silica
Every driver has had a bad
windshield at SOME time or other. Heck,
one day 3 months ago going down the freeway, a pebble
hit my
windshield and made a nice nick… And that doesn’t include heavy
duty things,
like throwing bricks and wood planks off of freeway
overpasses onto cars…
1>
Break it! : This is the most common… I personally find it
childish and lacking creativity,
but if you must… Most people
will knock it out with a CO2 pistol, Crossman Air Rifle, or
a
marble/rock from a wrist rocket. You may also use just about any
device with weight…
Baseball, axe, hammer, brick, etc. One of
the more interesting and more obscure methods is to
use a burglary
technique, by taping the window [usually shatterproof anyways] and
then
hitting it… Makes a LOT less noise, and shows you have SOME
creativity…
2>
Grease job: Another fun sport occurs every summer. Dumb
fools insist upon leaving their doors
open. This is where we
anarchists take over. Open the door from the inside, hop in, roll
up the window, squirt some motor oil or fine grease on it, roll it
back down, and it is
PERMANENTLY destroy. Glass consists of tiny
crevaces and the oil settles in, and it will NEVER
come out…
3> Sticker Shock: Another novelty is to ALWAYS collect bumper
stickers. They are a MUST have item in QUANTITY in your personal
arsenal. They are usually
quite prevalent near election time, so
it is wise to have a voting age friend do some free
work for a
candidate. The other widely publicized method is through radio
stations. Most
radio stations have stacks of different groups
on hand for promotional reasons, and public
relations. Stick a
bumper sticker in the driver’s field of vision. A more fun way
is to
just PLASTER the whole windshield with them. Take note to
use gloves and do NOT get your
fingerprints on them, as you can
BET the mark will have the police look at it.
4> Dutch Boy: Paint is another popular idea. Get any color, any
kind. It will have the same
result… You may also wish to use
something such as liquid tar, which will be more messy.
Sloppily
apply the paint, preferrably by tossing it at the windshield, and
the rest of
the vehicle as well. You may wish to use a brush or
roller if you are a real perfectionist.
Myself, the sloppier, the
better!!
5> Men’s faces and ladie’s legs frequently
need shaving. Why not
the car as well?? Take a razor [straight or retractable], or an
x-acto knife and proceed to shave the glass, which will reck the
window and rile the mark.
This technique may also be applied with
good result’s to the mark’s house windows.
OTHER MISCELLANEOUS TACTICS
If the mark has a bird feeder, you may wish to
get him in trouble with
the DNR, local animal shelter, etc. How?? EASY! Get a poison,
such as diazonin, and pour in in the food dish in the feeder. Also,
cedar chips have been
known to damage avian respiratory systems and
cause possible convulsions and death.
The mark’s trash may
proove to be your vengeful treasure! You may
wish to go trashing to possibily set the mark up.
Here are some
things to look for when trashing:
+ Letters from friends. Helps you
learn more inside info…
+ Phone bills. Learn who the mark knows, where they are, and
when he calls them.
+ Credit card carbons. In this day when commoners are aware
of the
trashers who hover over the back of the local K-Mart’s
at night, many citizens DEMAND their
carbons. What do they
do with them?? Tear them up at home, of course. So now you
have
their cc, and may use it for referrence material…
[Among other things :)]
+ Magazines.
You may want to rip off some mailing labels, when
you decide to start harassing the mark and
’subscribing’ him
to periodicals, such as HOT HOUSEWIVES, THE GAY TIMES, etc.
The
trash may proove of pleasurable anarchical value as well. Merely
pour a gallon of gasoline on
the trash, and ignite…
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Welp,
that ends Volume I of ‘Professional Housebombing/Homewrecking’.
This is by NO means a
compendium of ALL the possible tactics you may
wish to employ. This merely serves as
interesting reading, and a
brief tutorial for the young aspiring anarchist. Look for
subsiquent
material related to this topic to be published at a later date.
+ Look soon for more inspiring text files by the œegions “f œucifer
tfile group!
-
Anarchist
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Vice
Prezident : Count_Zer0
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