WAYS TO HAVE A CHEAP THRILLS… AT THE EXPENSE OF LAW-ABIDING AMERICAN
CITIZENS:
1) ORDER A BB MACHINE GUN. THEY GO FOR ABOUT $10 IF YOU SHOP AROUND, AND
ARE
CAPABLE OF WREAKING TOTAL HAVOC. THEY CAN HOLD AROUND 1000 BB’S, ARE LIGHT-
WEIGHT
(PLASTIC, PVC) COME WITH SHOULDER STOCK, AND CAN BE POWERED WITH A
STANDARD FREPON CAN, OR
COMPRESSOR.
2) ASSEMBLE SOME HOME-BREW MX MISSILES. GO OUT AND BUY A DOZEN SMALL
ESTES
ROCKETS - ONE STAGE, NO CHUTE NECESSARY (NOSE CONE SHOULD BE REMOVABLE) AND
PREFERABLY ONE WITH A HOLLOW, PLASTIC NOSE PIECE. THEY COST AROUND 3 DOLLARS A
THROW. ARM
THESE WITH M-80′S (OR ANY OTHER DEATH DEVICE) TIGHTLY PACKED IN THE
NOSE CONE. USE A C-ENGINE
WITH A FUSE OR ELECTRIC LAUNCHER. THE KICK- BACK
FROM THE ENGINE SHOULD, IF THE BODY IS SHORT
AND YOU DON’T USE WADDING, IGNITE
THE FUSE. I’VE FOUND BEST SPORT IS TO FIRE THESE BUGGERS AT
PASSING BOATS AND
SHIPS FROM THE WEST SIDE (DESERTED) ELEVATED HIGHWAY AT NIGHT. USE ABOUT A
45
DEGREE ANGLE FOR OPTIMUM BANG-FOR-THE-BUCK
3) ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO DO TO
A PHONE BOOTH WITH A WHITE PAGES BOOK
ATTACHED TO IT, IS TO USE A TORCH TO MELT THE BACK OF
THE HANDSET AND WELD IT TO
THE PLASTIC COVER OF THE BOOK
4) PHONE PHUN - IF YOU
ARE BORED OF CHEATING GM EXECS OUT OF DOUGH BY USING
THEIR ACCOUNTS ON TRAVEL NET AND CALLING
OUTER MONGOLIA, TRY SOME >REAL< PHONE
PHUN. BE IMAGINATIVE. ASK KEDORG ABOUT THE TIME HE
GOT A WOMAN TO CUT OFF HER
PHONE’S GREEN (RECEIVING) WIRE… HE EVEN HAS A TAPE OF THE SESSION
THE NICE
THING ABOUT PHONE PHUN IS THAT IT IS ABSOLUTELY ALMOST FREE. YOU CAN ALSO DO
SOME AWESOME STUFF IF YOU HAVE MULTIPLE LINES. TRY CALLING DIAL A PRAYER AND
CONNECTING IT
WITH SOME POOR SLOB. HE’LL THINK DIAL A PRAYER MADE THE CALL….
OR IF YOU WANNA SEE FEATHERS
FLY, AND CHICKENS SQUABBLE, CALL TWO OPERATORS AND
PATCH ‘EM IN TOGETHER.
5) BB
GUN FUN - IF YOU HAVE A GOOD BB GUN WITH A SCOPE, YOU CAN DO SOME
AMAZING DAMAGE. I HAVE A
CROSSMAN 766 WITH A BUSHNELL 4X SCOPE WHICH ALLOWS ME
TO USE .177 CAL. PELLETS, OR 5 BB ROUNDS
SHOT-GUN STYLE. KILLINGEONS IS FUN
WHAT WAS I UP TO? 6? ANYWAY, A GOOD BB GUN WITH
PELLETS AT 650-700 FPS CAN
KNOCK OUT A GOOD PLATE WINDOW FROM 100 YARDS OR SO. DEPENDING ON
THE TYPE OF
POINT THE PELLET HAS, YOU CAN MAKE PUNCTURE HOLES, OR SMASH THE ENTIRE WINDOW
WRIST ROCKETS - OK, SO YOU’RE TOO CHEAP TO BUY A RIFLE… THEN GO OUT AND
GET A
WRIST ROCKET. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE SUBSTANTIALLY LESS POWERFUL, THEY CAN BE
EFFECTIVELY EMPLOYED
AS TERROR INSTRUMENTS. IF YOU’RE STRONG, YOU CAN KNOCK OUT
MOST NORMAL WINDOWS AT 100 YARDS.
SEE IF YOU CAN KNOCK OUT A BUS WINDOW… I
SWEAR TO GOD, THOSE NEW GM BUSES HAVE WINDOWS MADE
OF TITANIUM OR SOMETHING.
YOU CAN WREAK MUCH HAVOC OFF A GOOD ROOF AS WELL. ASK MR.
DEATH ABOUT
THAT! IN GENERAL, YOU WANT TO BE ON AS HIGH A ROOF AS POSSIBLE WHICH WILL ALLOW
AND TERRACES,
YOUR TARGET WILL BE UNABLE TO LOCATE YOU. FIREWORKS DROPPED FROM
ROOVES IS ALWAYS
ENTERTAINING. EGGING IS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO PASS SOME TIME
TOO. DURING PARADES AND SHIT YOU
CAN REALLY WREAK TREMENDOUS DISRUPTION BY
THROWING EGGS BY THE DOZEN INTO THE CROWD. THE
FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN
WAS MR. DEATH EGGING A WOMAN IN THE WEST VILLAGE HALLOWEEN
PARADE WHO DRESSED
AS A CLOWN… THE EGG JUST LANDED OIN HER TECHNICOLOR AFRO-WIG AND
SHOWERED
HER.
9) PIGEON FUN - THIS IS REALLY A SEPARATE CATAGORY FOR YOU PIGEON
DIE-HARDS
OUT THERE. I MENTIONED PLUGGING THEM WITH BB’S… YOU CAN ALSO TRY: TYING
THEIR LEGS TOGETHER… JUST WATCH THES TRY TO LAND ON A LEDGE; TYING M-80S TO
THEIR FEET…
WHAT A TRIP! TYING STRING AROUND THEIR BODY SO THEY CAN’T USE
THEIR WINGS AND DROPPING THEM
OFF A BUILDING, AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE,
STRAPPING THEM TO AN ESTES HOME-BREW MX MISSILE, AND
WATCHING THE FEATHERS FLY.
10) FLY FUN - THIS IS MY LATEST`HOBBY. MY HOUSE WAS RECENTLY
INVADED BY A
SWORM OF SICKLY HUGE (I MEAN >HUGE<) FLIES, AND I HAVE BEEN DEVISING
CONSTRUCT-
IVE WAYS OF TERMINATING THEM… AND I HAVE COME UP WITH SEVERAL EFFECTIVE AND
ENTERTAINING MEANS. MY FAVORITE WAY IS TO SHOOT THEM WITH RUBBER BANDS (THICK,
STRONG).
REMEMBER TO HAVE A VACUUM HANDY THOUGH, SINCE THEY USUALLY BREAK UP
INTO ITY-BITY PIECES. TRY
SWATTING THEM IN MID-AIR. IF YOU HIT THEM HARD
ENOUGH, YOU CAN HEAR THEM GO "CLICK"
AND SAIL ACROSS THE ROOM… THEM FIND THEM
AND DISPOSE OF THEM. ALTERNATIVELY, IF YOU FIND
THEM AND THEY ARE ONLY STUNNED,
TAKE A SPOOL OF THREAD AND TIE THE END AROUND ITS NECK. LEAVE
THE SPOOL WITH
SOME SLACK IN A VISIBLE PLACE, AND YOU HAVE AN INSTANT CONVERSATION PIECE!
JUST
IMAGINE WHAT YOUR FRIENDS WILL THINK! THIS IS NOT ADVISABLE WITH NYC FLIES…
YOU
WILL PROBABLY CONTRACT A TERRIBLE DISEASE AND DIE A FIERY DEATH. FLY’S
REVENGE.
BY: MISTER YANSUVENGE.
WELL, THAT’S IT FOR NOW. GO OUT AND HAVE SOME REAL FUN. WHO
NEEDS TO PLAY
SPY HUNTER OR GALAXIAN WHEN YOU CAN WREK >TRUE< HAVOC AROUND YOUR BLOCK?
I’LL
BE BACK WITH THE LATEST IN FALL FUN NEXT TIME, ON EVERYONE’S FAVORITE SHOW —-
CAPTAIN CRASH AND THE DEATH SQUADS OF THE COMMUNIST MUTANT WORLD!
MISTER YANSU
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
Add A Comment