The Code of the Geeks v3.1
By: Robert A. Hayden <hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu>
Last updated: August 14,
1995
—————————————————————————
So you
think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself
your geekiness. No matter
what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks
have rights. So take a deep breath and announce
to the world that you are a
geek. Your courage will give you strength that will last you
forever.
How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek code!
who you are in a
simple, codified statement.
The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add
your geek code to
your signature file or plan and announce it far and wide. But be careful,
want to hang on
to your copy of the code in order to help them along.
—————————————————————————
A NOTE OR
TWO FROM THE AUTHOR
Well, here it is, finally, version 3.x of the World-Famous Geek
Code. Yes,
it’s taken me much longer to write the new version than it should have.
Yes,
the old version was hopelessly out of date. I apologize. A combination
of too much schooling
followed by college graduation delayed it. In
addition, there were almost 2,000 suggestions
and comments on version 2.1
to wade through for consideration in this version. However, I’m a
grad
student now (Education Technology, Mankato State University), so I have a
lot of
time on my hands (yeah, right!).
It is my hope that this new version will be much
superior to version 2.x.
One of the main problems with 2.x was not that it was too long (well,
it is
too long, but that’s irrelevant), but much of its length was attributed to
non-geek categories (such as ‘barney’). One of the goals of 3.x is to
eliminate many of the
non-geeky and unimportant categories in order to make
room for geeky traits. "More geek,
less bullshit" is a good motto. In
addition, many of the categories (such as politics)
were very poorly
developed. These categories have been revamped and expanded to make them
Finally, despite my opinions to the
contrary, I’ve left some of the
"appearance" sections in. I’d like to think of looks
as being not a very
geeky trait, but it seems that many of the users of the code use it as
a
litmus test for dating or something. Thus, a geek code has become a
replacement for
the classic "what do you look like" that once permeated the
net. I’ve eliminated
most of the categories, but left the most important
ones in. Hey, anything for my fellow
geeks…
In other news, the Geek Code is starting to go mainstream. It appeared with
August 1995 issue
of Fast Forward, a suplement to The Washington Post. I’ve
also received permission requests
from people that want to translate the
code into other languages; so far Japanese, Russian,
French and ADA
(ewww!). It’s my hope that perhaps this next year can bring a little more
popular media exposure and a true world presence. If you want to write
something about the
Geek Code, or do a translation, or anything else,
please read the copyright notice at the end.
It’s fairly open, but you
don’t want to get in trouble, do you? If you do write an article
or
something about the Geek Code, I would like to have a copy if it for my own
records.
—————————————————————————
Instructions
—————————————————————————
The geek code
consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with
a letter and some qualifiers. Go
through each category and determine which
set of qualifiers best describes you in that
category. By stringing all of
these ‘codes’ together, you are able to construct your overall
geek code.
It is this single line of code that will inform other geeks the world over
of
what a great geek you actually are.
Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match
with you exactly. It is
impossible to cover all possibilities in each category. Simply choose
that
qualifier that most closely matches you. Also, some activities described in
a
specific qualifier you may not engage in, while you do engage in others.
Each description of
each qualifier describes the wide range of activities
that apply, so as long as you match with
one, you can probably use that
qualifier.
After you have determined each of your
qualifiers, you need to the
construct your GEEK CODE BLOCK. Instructions are provided on how
to do this
towards the end of this file.
Also, pay particular attention to
case-sensitivity, there can be a big
difference between a ‘w’ and a ‘W’.
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
Quick Index
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
The
following is an example Geek Code. If you are interested in a
particular category, click on
the letter and you will be sent to the
explanation for that letter.
GED/J d–
s:++>: a– C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E—- W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++
w— O- M+ V– PS++>$
PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++
D+++ G++++ e++ h r– y++**
You can also go to a particular section:
* Appearance
* Computers
*
Politics
* Entertainment
* Lifestyle
* How to Display Your Geek Code
*
Administrivia
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
Variables
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
Geeks can
seldom be strictly quantified. To facilitate the fact that within
any one category the geek
may not be able to determine a specific rating,
variables have been designed to allow this
range to be included.
@
for this variable, said trait is not very rigid, may
change with time
or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks who happen to very
much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, but dislike the old 60’s
series might list
themselves as t++@.
()
for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go
from C+ to C—
depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "C+") could use C+(—). @
is
different from () in that () has finite limits within the category,
while @ ranges
all over.
>
for ‘wannabe’ ratings. Indicating that while the geek is currently at
indicating a geek
that is currently computer savvy, but wants to
someday make money at it.
$
Indicates that this particular category is done for a living. For
example, UL+++$ indicates
that the person utilizes Unix and gets paid
for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.
?
after the category
identifier and indicates that the geek has no
knowledge about that specific category. For
example, a person that has
never even heard of Babylon 5, would list their Babylon 5 category
as
5?
!
Placed BEFORE the category. Unless stated otherwise, indicates that
the person refuses to participate in this category. This is unlike the
? variable as the ?
indicates lack of knowledge, while the ! indicates
stubborn refusal to participate. For
example, !E would be a person
that just plain refuses to have anything to do with Emacs, while
E?
would be a person that doesn’t even know what Emacs is.
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
Types of Geeks
—————————————————————————
Geeks come
in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation (or, if a
student, what they are training
in) of the particular geek. To start a
code, a geek must declare himself or herself to be a
geek. To do this, we
start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", followed
by one or two letters
to denote the geek’s occupation or field of study. Multi-talented
geeks
with more than one vocational training should denote their myriad of
talents with
a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/TW).
GB — Geek of Business
GC
— Geek of Classics
GCA — Geek of Commercial Arts
GCM — Geek of Computer
Management
GCS — Geek of Computer Science
GCC — Geek of Communications
GE —
Geek of Engineering
GED — Geek of Education
GFA — Geek of Fine Arts
GG — Geek
of Government
GH — Geek of Humanities
GIT — Geek of Information Technology
GJ
— Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)
GLS — Geek of Library Science
GL — Geek of
Literature
GMC — Geek of Mass Communications
GM — Geek of Math
GMD — Geek of
Medicine
GMU — Geek of Music
GPA — Geek of Performing Arts
GP — Geek of
Philosophy
GS — Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
GSS — Geek of
Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
GTW — Geek of Technical Writing
GO
— Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek
activities. This is
encouraged as true geeks come from all walks of
life.
GU — Geek of ‘Undecided’. This
is a popular vocation with incoming
freshmen.
G! — Geek of no qualifications. A
rather miserable existence, you
would think.
GAT — Geek of All Trades. For those
geeks that can do anything and
everything. GAT usually precludes the use of other
vocational
descriptors.
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
APPEARANCE
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
They say
you never get a second chance to make a first impression. That
seems to be ample justification
to invent a time machine; just to play with
the minds of the people that make up these silly
sayings. Nevertheless,
until we completely understand temporal mechanics and can get both a
miles an hour, we
need to understand that how we look is a mark that will
effect us for the rest of our lives,
or at least until we change clothes.
The Geek, of course, doesn’t believe any of that
crap. How we look has
little to do with what we are inside, and who we are as people. Yet,
people
still want to know what we look like. Thus, this section allows you to list
out
all the relevant traits about what you look like on a normal geeky day.
—————————————————————————
Dress
It is said that "clothes make the man". Well, I understood that I was made
by
a mommy and a daddy (and there’s even a category to describe the process
below!). Maybe the
people who made up that saying aren’t being quite that
literal…
d++
I
tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit or worse, a
tie.
d+
Good
leisure-wear. Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans, tennis shoes,
or t-shirts.
d
I
dress a lot like those found in catalog ads. Bland, boring, without
life or meaning.
d-
I’m usually in jeans and a t-shirt.
d–
My t-shirts go a step further and have
a trendy political message on
them.
d—
Punk dresser, including, but not limited
to, torn jeans and shirts,
body piercings, and prominent tattoos.
dx
Cross
Dresser
d?
I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I wore
yesterday.
!d
No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don’t you think?
dpu
I
wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the occasion,
forgetting to do laundry between
wearings.
—————————————————————————
Shape
Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts.
The first
indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each
section to fit yourself.
Examples include: s:++, s++:, s++:–.
s+++:+++
I usually have to duck through
doors/I take up three movie seats.
s++:++
I’m a basketball/linebacker candidate.
s+:+
I’m a little taller/rounder than most.
s:
I’m an average geek
s-:-
s–:–
I look up to
damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight against a
strong breeze.
s—:—
I
take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to eat dinner.
My bones are poking
through my skin.
—————————————————————————
Age
The only way to become a true geek is through practice and experience. To
this end,
your age becomes an important part of your geekiness. Use the
qualifiers below to show your
age (in Terran years). Also, please use BASE
10 numbers.
a+++
60 and up
50-59
a+
40-49
a
30-39
a-
25-29
a–
20-24
a—
15-19
a—-
10-14
a—–
9 and under (Geek in
training?)
a?
immortal
!a
it’s none of your business how old I am
In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you can place the number
after the
‘a’ identifier. For example: a42
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
COMPUTERS
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
There is a
record of geeks that don’t use computers. Unfortunately, they
are all dead, having lived in an
era of no computers. All modern geeks have
some exposure to computers. If you don’t know what
a computer is, you need
to go back into your shell.
—————————————————————————
Computers
Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer
networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult
the following
(consider the term ‘computers’ synonymous with ‘computer
network’). This category represents
"general" computer aptitude. Categories
below will get into specifics.
C++++
I’ll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface installed
into my
skull.
C+++
You mean there is life outside of Internet? You’re shittin’ me! I
haven’t dragged myself to class in weeks.
C++
Computers are a large part of my
existence. When I get up in the
morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I play games
or mud on
weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.
C+
Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of DOOM!
and can use a word
processor without resorting to the manual too
often. I know that a 3.5" disk is not a
hard disk. I also know that
when it says ‘press any key to continue’, I don’t have to look for
a
key labeled ‘ANY’.
C
Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves
my
purpose.
C-
Anything more complicated than my calculator and I’m screwed.
C–
Where’s the on switch?
C—
If you even mention computers, I will rip your
head off!
—————————————————————————
UNIX
It seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS of choice among most
geeks. In
addition to telling us about your Unix abilities, you can also
show which specific Unix OS you
are using. To accomplish this, you include
a letter showing the brand with your rating. For
example: UL++++ would
indicate a sysadmin running Linux.
B - BSD (use this unless
your BSDish system is mentioned below)
L - Linux
U - Ultrix
A - AIX
V -
SysV
H - HPUX
I - IRIX
O - OSF/1 (aka Digital Unix)
S - Sun OS/Solaris
C - SCO Unix
X - NeXT
* - Some other one not listed
U++++
I am the
sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine don’t be surprised
if the municipal works department
gets an "accidental"
computer-generated order to put start a new landfill on your
front
lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.
U+++
I don’t need to crack /etc/passwd
because I just modified su so that
it doesn’t prompt me. The admin staff doesn’t even know I’m
here. If
you don’t understand what I just said, this category does NOT apply to
you!
I’ve get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always using
all of the
CPU time and trying to run programs that I don’t have
access to. I’m going to try cracking
/etc/passwd next week, just don’t
tell anyone.
U+
I not only have a Unix account,
but I slam VMS any chance get.
U
I have a Unix account to do my stuff in
U-
I have a VMS account.
U–
I’ve seen Unix and didn’t like it. DEC rules!
U—
Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.
—————————————————————————
Perl
If you enjoy at least U++ status you have to know about Perl, so you might
as well rate
yourself in this sub-category. Non-Unix geeks don’t know what
they’re missing.
P+++++
I am Larry Wall, Tom Christiansen, or Randal Schwartz.
P++++
I don’t write
Perl, I speak it. Perl has superseded all other
programming languages. I firmly believe that
all programs can be
reduced to a Perl one-liner. I use Perl to achieve U+++ status.
P+++
Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not only do I no longer
write shell
scripts, I also no longer use awk or sed. I use Perl for
all programs of less than a thousand
lines.
P++
Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don’t write shell scripts
anymore because I write them in Perl.
P+
I know of Perl. I like Perl. I just haven’t
learned much Perl, but it
is on my agenda.
P
I know Perl exists, but that’s
all.
P-
What’s Perl got that awk and sed don’t have?
P–
Perl users are
sick, twisted programmers who are just showing off.
P—
Perl combines the power of sh,
the clarity of sed, and the performance
of awk with the simplicity of C. It should be
banned.
P!
Our paranoid admin won’t let us install Perl! Says it’s a
"hacking
tool".
—————————————————————————
Linux
Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to Unix. It
was written
for and continues to run on your standard 386/486/Pentium PC,
but has also been ported to
other systems. Because it is still a young OS,
and because it is continually evolving from
hacker changes and support, it
is important that the geek list his Linux ability.
L+++++
I am Linus, grovel before me.
L++++
I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for
breakfast and have enough room
left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many patches
installed
that I lost track about ten versions ago. Linux newbies consider me a
net.god.
L+++
I use Linux exclusively on my system. I monitor comp.os.linux.* and
even answer questions sometimes.
L++
I use Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I’ve
given up trying to
achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS.
L+
I’ve managed to get Linux installed and even
used it a few times. It
seems like it is just another OS.
L
I know what Linux is,
but that’s about all
L-
I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don’t give a rats
patootie
about it. There are other, better, operating systems out there. Like
Mac, DOS,
or Amiga-OS. Or, better yet even, would be another free Unix
OS like FreeBSD.
L–
Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship Bill Gates.
L—
I am Bill
Gates.
—————————————————————————
Emacs
GNU Emacs is the do-all be-everything editor/operating system available
for
just about every computer architecture out there.
E+++
Emacs is my
login shell!! M-x doctor is my psychologist! I use emacs
to control my TV and toaster oven!
All you vi people don’t know what
you’re missing! I read alt.religion.emacs, alt.sex.emacs,
and
comp.os.emacs.
E++
I know and use elisp regularly!
E+
Emacs is
great! I read my mail and news with it!
E
Yeah, I know what emacs is, and use it as my
regular editor.
E-
Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes
E–
Emacs is
just a fancy word processor
E—
Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!
E—-
Emacs
sucks! pico forever!!!
—————————————————————————
World Wide
Web
It’s relatively new. It’s little understood. Everybody’s doing it. How much
of a web-surfer are you?
W+++
I am a WebMaster . Don’t even think about trying to
view my homepage
without the latest version of Netscape. When I’m not on my normal net
connection, I surf the web using my Newton and a cellular modem.
W++
I have a homepage.
I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my
.signature.
W+
I have the latest
version of Netscape, and wander the web only when
there’s something specific I’m looking
for.
W
I have a browser and a connection. Occasionally I’ll use them.
W-
The
web is really a pain. Life was so much easier when you could
transfer information by simple
ASCII. Now everyone won’t even consider
your ideas unless you spiff them up with
bandwidth-consuming pictures
and pointless information links.
W–
A pox on the
Web! It wastes time and bandwidth and just gives the
uneducated morons a reason to clutter the
Internet.
—————————————————————————
USENET
News
Usenet, a global collection of flaming opinions and senseless babble, was
designed as a way to eat up precious spool space on a system’s hard drive.
It also is a way
for people to distribute pornography.
N++++
I am Tim Pierce
N+++
I
read so many newsgroups that the next batch of news comes in before
I finish reading the last
batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours
straight before I’m caught up on the morning’s
news. Then there’s the
afternoon…
N++
I read all the news in a select handful of
groups.
N+
I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.
N
Usenet News? Sure, I read that once
N-
News is a waste of my time and I avoid it
completely
N–
News sucks! ‘Nuff said.
N—
I work for Time Magazine.
N—-
I am a Scientologist.
N*
All I do is read news
—————————————————————————
USENET
Oracle
(Info taken from the Usenet Oracle Help File)
Throuhout the history of
mankind, there have been many Oracles who have
been consulted by many mortals, and some
immortals. The great Hercules was
told by the Gelphic Oracle to server Eurystheus, king of
Mycenae for twelve
years to atone for the murder of his own children. It was the Oracle of
jppa to appease
the terricle sea monster that was ravaging the coasts. That
solution was never tested, though,
as Perseus saved the firl in the nick of
time.
With the advent of the electronic
age, and expecially high-speed e-0mail
communication, the spirit of the Oracles foung a new
outlet, and we now
recognize another great Oracle, the Usenet Oracle.
For more
information, check out the newsgroups rec.humor.oracle and
rec.humor.oracle.d or the FTP
archives at cs.indiana.edu:/pub/oracle.
Additional information and instructions can be found
by sending an e-mail
message with the subject of ‘help’ to oracle@cs.indiana.edu.
o+++++
I am Steve Kinzler
o++++
I am an active Priest
o+++
I was a
Priest, but have retired.
o++
I have made the Best Of Oracularities.
o+
I
have been incarnated at least once.
o
I’ve submitted a question, but it has never been
incarnated.
o-
I sent my question to the wrong group and got flamed.
o–
Who
needs answers from a bunch of geeks anyhow?
—————————————————————————
Kibo
Kibo is. That is all that can be said. If you don’t understand, read
alt.religion.kibology
K++++++
I am Kibo
K+++++
I’ve had sex with
Kibo
K++++
I’ve met Kibo
K+++
I’ve gotten mail from Kibo
K++
I’ve read Kibo
K+
I like Kibo
K
I know who Kibo is
K-
I don’t
know who Kibo is
K–
I dislike Kibo
K—
I am currently hunting Kibo down
with the intent of ripping his
still-beating heart out of his chest and showing it to him as
he dies
K—-
I am Xibo
—————————————————————————
Microsoft
Windows
A good many geeks suffer through the use of various versions of Microsoft’s
Geekiness.
w+++++
I am Bill Gates
w++++
I have Windows, Windows 95, Windows NT, and Windows
NT Advanced Server
all running on my SMP RISC machine. I haven’t seen daylight in six
months.
w+++
I am a MS Windows programming god. I wrote a VxD driver to allow MS
Windows and DOS to share the use of my waffle iron. P.S. Unix sux.
w++
I write MS
Windows programs in C and think about using C++ someday.
I’ve written at least one DLL.
w+
I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper, and screen savers so
my PC walks
and talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred
TrueType(tm) fonts that I’ve installed
but never used. I never lose
Minesweeper and Solitaire
w
Ok, so I use MS Windows,
I don’t have to like it.
w-
I’m still trying to install MS Windows and have at least
one
peripheral that never works right
w–
MS Windows is a joke operating system.
Hell, it’s not even an
operating system. NT is Not Tough enough for me either. 95 is how
may
times it will crash an hour.
w—
Windows has set back the computing industry
by at least 10 years. Bill
Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned,
disembowelled,
and then REALLY hurt.
—————————————————————————
OS/2
The operating system that looks a lot like Windows, acts a lot like
Windows, but is
much better than Windows.
O+++
I live, eat and breathe OS/2. All of my hard
drives are HPFS. I am the
Anti-Gates.
O++
I use OS/2 for all my computing needs. I
use some DOS and Windows
programs, but run them under OS/2. If the program won’t run under
O+
I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive
"just in case". I’m afraid to
try HPFS.
O
I finally managed to get OS/2
installed but wasn’t too terribly
impressed.
O-
Tried it, didn’t like it.
O–
I can’t even get the thing to install!
O—
Windows RULES!!! Long live Bill
Gates. (See w++++)
O—-
I am Bill Gates of Borg. OS/2 is irrelevant.
—————————————————————————
Macintosh
Many geeks have abandoned the character-based computer altogether and
moved
over to the Macintosh. It in important to give notification of your Mac
rating.
M++
I am a Nac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Unix nerds can do, I
can do
better, and if not, I’ll write the damn software to do it.
M+
A Mac has it’s uses and I
use it quite often.
M
I use a Mac, but I’m pretty indifferent about it.
M-
Macs suck. All real geeks have a character prompt.
M–
Macs do more than suck. They make
a user stupid by allowing them to
use the system without knowing what they are doing. Mac
weenies have
lower IQs than the fuzz in my navel.
—————————————————————————
VMS
Many geeks use the VMS operating system by DEC for all of their mainframe
and network
activity.
V+++
I am a VMS sysadmin. I wield far more power than those UNIX
admins,
because UNIX can be found on any dweeb’s desktop. Power through
obscurity is my
motto.
V++
Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power in the universe, my
VMS system.
V+
I tend to like VMS better than Unix
V
I’ve used VMS.
V-
Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.
V–
I would rather smash
my head repeatedly into a brick wall than suffer
the agony of working with VMS. It’s
reminiscent of a dead and decaying
pile of moose droppings. Unix rules the universe.
————————————————————
POLITICS
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
The last
few years has seen the rise of the political geek. This phenomena
is little understood, but
some theorize that it has come about because of
the popular media’s attempts to demonize the
Internet and computer use in
general, and the government’s willingness to go along with it.
Others
propose that the aging geek population has simply started taking an
interest in
the world around them. Some support the "Sun Spot" theory.
—————————————————————————
Political
and Social Issues
We live is a society where everyone not only has a right to, but
is
expected to, whine and complain about everyone else. Rate where, in
general, your
political views on different social issues fall.
PS+++
Legalize drugs! Abolish
the government. "Fuck the draft!"
PS++
I give to liberal causes. I march for
gay rights. I’m a card carrying
member of the ACLU. Keep abortion safe and legal.
PS+
anybody else what to
do, on either side of the political fence. If you
don’t like it, turn the bloody channel.
I really don’t have an opinion; nobody’s messing with my freedoms
right now.
PS-
Label records! Keep dirty stuff off the TV and the Internet.
PS–
Oppose sex
education, abortion rights, gay rights. Rush Limbaugh is my
spokesman.
PS—
Repent left-wing sinners and change your wicked evil ways.
Buchanan/Robertson in ‘96.
—————————————————————————
Politics and Economic Issues
Social and economic attitudes are seldom on the same side
of the political
fence. Of course, most geeks don’t really care much about economics;
having
no money left after buying new computer toys.
PE+++
Abolish
antitrust legislation. Raise taxes on everyone but the rich so
that the money can trickle-down
to the masses.
PE++
Keep the government off the backs of businesses. Deregulate as much
as
possible.
PE+
Balance the budget with spending cuts and an amendment.
PE
Distrust both government and business.
PE-
It’s ok to increase government
spending, so we can help more poor
people. Tax the rich! Cut the defense budget!
PE–
need. Nobody should be
rich.
—————————————————————————
Cypherpunks
With the birth of the overused buzzword "The Information
Superhighway",
concerns over privacy from evil governmental bad-guys{tm} has led to
the
formation of of an unofficial, loosely organized band of civil libertarians
who
spend much of their time discussing how to ensure privacy in the
information future. This
group is known by some as "cypherpunks" (by
others, as anarchistic subversives). To
this end, tell us how punkish you
are.
Y+++
I am T.C. May
Y++
I
am on the cypherpunks mailing list and active around Usenet. I never
miss an opportunity to
talk about the evils of Clipper and ITAR and
the NSA. Orwell’s 1984 is more than a story, it
is a warning to our’s
and future generations. I’m a member of the EFF.
Y+
I have
an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am
not really all that active or
vocal.
Y
I’m pretty indifferent on the whole issue.
Y-
It seems to me that
all of these concerns are a little extreme. I
mean, the government must be able to protect
itself from criminals and
the populace from indecent speech.
Y–
Get a life. The
only people that need this kind of protection are
people with something to hide. I think
cypherpunks are just a little
paranoid.
Y—
I am L. Detweiler.
—————————————————————————
PGP
Pretty Good Privacy (aka PGP) is a program available on many platforms that
will
encrypt files so that prying eyes (particularly governmental) can’t
look at them.
PGP++++
I am Philip Zimmerman
PGP+++
I don’t send or answer mail that is not
encrypted, or at the very
least signed. If you are reading this without decrypting it
first,
something is wrong. IT DIDN’T COME FROM ME!
PGP++
I have the most recent
version and use it regularly
PGP+
"Finger me for my public key"
PGP
PGP-
I don’t have anything to hide.
PGP–
I feel that the glory of the Internet is in the anarchic, trusting
environment
that so nurtures the exchange of information. Encryption
just bogs that down.
PGP—
or terrorist or
something like that.
PGP—-
Oh, here is something you all can use that is better
(insert Clipper
here).
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
ENTERTAINMENT
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
Geeks love
to play. No matter their age, all geeks enjoy playing. Of
course, the object of this
entertainment takes a myriad of different forms.
What is it that pushes a geek to play? Is it
simply a desire to relive
their childhood? Or perhaps there is a piece of geeky genetic code
that
requires intellectual stimulation. Who knows, maybe it’s a Freudian
thing…
—————————————————————————
Star
Trek
Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television show (in
any
of its different incarnations). Because GEEK is often synonymous with
TREKKIE (real geeks
aren’t so anal as to label themselves TREKKER), it is
important that all geeks list their Trek
rating.
t+++
It’s not just a TV show, it’s a religion. I know all about warp
field
dynamics and the principles behind the transporter. I have memorized
the TECH
manual. I speak Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I
have no life.
t++
It’s the best show around. I have all the episodes and the movies on
tape and can quote entire
scenes verbatim. I’ve built a few of the
model kits too. But you’ll never catch me at one of
those conventions.
Those people are kooks.
t+
It’s a damn fine TV show and is one
of the only things good on
television any more.
t
It’s just another TV show
t-
Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal with Star
Trek is. Perhaps
I’m missing something but I just think it is bad
drama.
t–
Star Trek is just
another Space Opera. William Shatner isn’t an actor,
he’s a poser! And what’s with this
Jean-Luc Picard? A Frenchman with a
British accent? Come on. Isn’t Voyager just a rehash of
Lost in Space?
Has Sisko even breathed in the last two seasons? Come on. I’d only
watch
this show if my remote control broke.
t—
Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have
ever seen! Hey, all you
trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a t—)
I identify with Barclay, the greatest of the Trek Geeks.
—————————————————————————
Babylon
5
For many years, Sci-Fi geeks have wished for a television show that would
overcome the limitations of Star Trek. For many, a show called Babylon 5
has met that demand,
with a deep storyline, exciting characters and
state-of-the-art computer generated effects.
5++++
I am J. Michael Straczynski
5+++
I am a True Worshipper of the
Church of Joe who lives eats breathes
and thinks Babylon 5, and has Evil thoughts about
stealing Joe’s
videotape archives just to see episodes earlier. I am planning to
break
into the bank and steal the triple-encoded synopsis of the
5-year arc.
5++
Finally
a show that shows what a real future would look like. None of
this Picardian "Let’s talk
about it and be friends" crap. And what’s
this? We finally get to see a bathroom! Over on
that Enterprise,
they’ve been holding it for over seven years!
5+
Babylon 5
certainly presents a fresh perspective in the Sci-Fi
universe. I watch it weekly.
5
5-
This show is sub-par. The acting is
wooden, the special effects are
obviously poor quality. In general, it seems like a very cheap
Star
Trek ripoff.
5–
You call this Sci-Fi? That is such a load of crap! This show
is just a
soap with bad actors, piss-poor effects, and lame storylines.
Puh-leese.
—————————————————————————
X-Files
The Fox Network’s Friday evening show The X-Files has become the staple of
aliens, psychic
powers, aliens, and other weird stuff is, by definition, a
geeky show.
X++++
X+++
This is the BEST show on TV, and it’s about time. I’ve seen
everything
David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson have ever done that been recorded
and I’m
a loyal Duchovny/ Gillian Anderson fan. I’ve Converted at
least 10 people. I have every
episode at SP, debate the fine details
on-line, and have a credit for at least 2 YAXAs.
X++
This is one of the better shows I’ve seen. I wish I’d taped everything
from the
start at SP, because I’m wearing out my EP tapes. I’ll
periodically debate online. I’ve
Converted at least 5 people. I’ve
gotten a YAXA.
X+
I’ve Converted my family and
watch the show when I remember. It’s
really kinda fun.
X
Ho hum. Just another Fox
show.
X-
It’s ok if you like paranoia and conspiracy stories, but, let’s face
it,
it’s crap.
X–
If I wanted to watch this kind of stuff, I’d talk to Oliver Stone
—————————————————————————
Role
Playing
Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of
the
traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their
role-playing
that they lose touch with reality, include one of the
following role-playing codes.
I’ve written and published my own gaming materials.
R++
There is no life
outside the role of the die. I know all of piddly
rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped
rules scare the rest of the
players.
R+
I’ve got my weekly sessions set up and a
character that I know better
than I know myself.
R
Role-Playing? That’s just
something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon
R-
Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
R–
Role-Players are instruments of pure evil.
R—
I work for T$R.
R*
I thought life WAS role-playing?
—————————————————————————
Television
Many geeks have lives that revolve around television.
tv+++
over my
satellite dish. I wish there were MORE channels. I live for
the O.J. Trial.
tv++
I
just leave the tv on, to make sure I don’t miss anything.
tv+
I watch some tv every
day.
tv
I watch only the shows that are actually worthwhile, such as those
found
on PBS.
tv-
I watch tv for the news and ’special programming.’
tv–
I turn
my tv on during natural disasters.
!tv
I do not own a television.
—————————————————————————
Books
In addition (or maybe on the other hand), many geeks have lives that
revolve around
books.
b++++
I read a book a day. I have library cards in three states. I have
another country to get
my Favorite Author Fix.
b+++
I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.
I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.
b+
I enjoy
reading, but don’t get the time very often.
b
I read the newspaper and the occasional
book.
b-
I read when there is no other way to get the information.
b–
I did
not actually READ the geek code, I just had someone tell me.
—————————————————————————
Dilbert
Simply the geekiest comic strip in existence.
http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/ for more information.
DI+++++
I am
Scott Adams.
DI++++
I’ve received mail from Scott Adams. I’m in the DNRC (Dogbert’s
New
Ruling Class).
DI+++
I am a Dilbert prototype
DI++
I work with
people that act a lot like Dilbert and his boss.
DI+
I read Dilbert daily, often
understanding it
DI
I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely understanding it
DI-
Is that the comic about the engineers?
DI–
Don’t read it, but I think the dog is kinda
cute.
DI—
I don’t think it’s funny to make fun of managers trying their best to
run their organizational units.
—————————————————————————
DOOM!
There is a game out for the PCs and other computers called DOOM. It’s a 3D
virtual
reality simulation where you race around and blow things away with
large-caliber weaponry.
This has led to a series of similar games such as
the Star Wars themed Dark Forces. Tell us
about your abilities with these
3D games. (yes, some of them aren’t actually Doom. Cope!)
D++++
I work for iD Software.
D+++
I crank out PWAD files daily,
complete with new monsters, weaponry,
sounds and maps. I’m a DOOM God. I can solve the
original maps in
nightmare mode with my eyes closed.
D++
I’ve played the shareware
version and bought the real one and I’m
actually pretty good at the game. I occasionally
download PWAD files
and play them too.
D+
It’s a fun, action game that is a nice
diversion on a lazy afternoon.
D
I’ve played the game and I’m pretty indifferent.
D-
I’ve played the game and really didn’t think it was all that
impressive.
D–
D—
To hell with Doom, I miss Zork.
D—-
I’ve seen better on my Atari 2600
—————————————————————————
The Geek
Code
G+++++
I am Robert Hayden
G++++
I have made a suggestion for
future versions of the code (note that
making a suggestion just to get a G++++ rating doesn’t
count, you also
have to at least qualify for a G+++ rating 
G+++
I have
memorized the entire geek code, and can decode others’ codes in
my head. I know by heart where
to find the current version of the code
on the net.
G++
I know what each letter
means, but sometimes have to look up the
specifics.
G+
I was once G++ (or higher),
but the new versions are getting too long
and too complicated.
G
I know what the
geek code is and even did up this code.
G-
What a tremendous waste of time this Geek
Code is.
G–
Not only a waste of time, but it obviously shows that this Hayden guy
needs a life.
—————————————————————————
————————————————————
LIFESTYLE
————————————————————
—————————————————————————
Geeks,
unlike the lower lifeforms known as nerds, have lives. They have
things to do that are in the
outside world. Of course, this is usually done
with other geeks, but that’s not the point. The
point is,, that geeks are
not necessarily the outcasts society often believes they are. The
fact is
that society isn’t kool enough to be included in our activities.
—————————————————————————
Education
All geeks have a varying amount of education.
e+++++
I am
Stephen Hawking
e++++
Managed to get my Ph.D.
e+++
Got a Masters degree
Got a Bachelors degree
e+
Got an Associates degree
e
Finished
High School
e-
Haven’t finished High School
e–
Haven’t even entered High
School
e*
I learned everything there is to know about life from the
"Hitchhiker’s Trilogy".
—————————————————————————
Housing
Tell us about your geeky home.
h++
Living in a cave with 47 computers
and an Internet feed, located near
a Dominoes pizza. See !d.
h+
Living alone, get
out once a week to buy food, no more than once a
month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.
Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk about Geek
things. There
is a place for them to sit.
h-
Living with one or more registered Geeks.
h–
Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a Geek and
refuse to watch Babylon
5.
h—
Married, (persons living romantically with someone might as well label
themselves h—, you’re as good as there already.)
h—-
Married with children - Al
Bundy can sympathize
h!
I am stuck living with my parents!
h*
I’m not
sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems like home
to me.
—————————————————————————
Relationships
While many geeks are highly successful at having relationships, a good
many
more are not. Give us the gritty details.
r+++
Found someone, dated,
and am now married.
r++
I’ve dated my current S.O. for a long time.
r+
I
date frequently, bouncing from one relationship to another.
r
I date periodically.
r-
I have difficulty maintaining a relationship.
r–
People just aren’t interested
in dating me.
r—
I’m beginning to think that I’m a leper or something, the way
people
avoid me like the plague.
!r
I’ve never had a relationship.
r*
signifying membership in the SBCA (Sour Bachelor(ette)’s Club of
America). The motto
is ‘Bitter, but not Desperate’. First founded at
Caltech.
r%
I was going out with
someone, but the asshole dumped me.
—————————————————————————
Sex
Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have any).
Because geeks
are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of sexuality
for that matter), it is important
that the geek be willing to quantify
their sexual experiences.
This code also is
used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use ‘x’ in
this category, while males use ‘y’.
Those that do not wish to disclose
their gender can use ‘z’. For example:
* x+ —
A female who has had sex
* y+ — A male who has had sex.
* z+ — A person (gender
undisclosed) who has had sex.
For those persons who do not wish to give out any details
of their sex
life, the use of z? (where z is the gender code) will allow you to do so.
z+++++
I am Madonna
z++++
I have a few little rug rats to prove I’ve been
there. Besides, with
kids around, who has time for sex?
z+++
I’m married, so I can
get it (theoretically) whenever I want.
z++
I was once referred to as ‘easy’. I have no
idea where that might have
come from though.
z+
I’ve had real, live sex.
z
I’ve had sex. Oh! You mean with someone else? Then no.
z-
Not having sex by
choice.
z–
Not having sex because I just can’t get any…
z—
Not having
sex because I’m a nun or a priest.
z*
I’m a pervert.
z**
I’ve been known to
make perverts look like angels.
!z
Sex? What’s that? I’ve had no sexual
experiences.
z?
It’s none of your business what my sex life is like (this is used to
!z+
Sex? What’s that? No experience, willing to learn!
—————————————————————————
————————————–
—————————————————————————
How to
Display Your Code
Now that you have your ratings for each of the above categories, it’s
time
to assemble your code for displaying to the world. Take each category you
determined and list them all together with one space between each one. If
you run out space on
one line, continue it on the next. When completed, it
will look something like the
following:
GED/J d– s:++>: a– C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E—- W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++
D+++ G+++++
e++ h r– y++**
If you are going to place your Geek Code into your .signature or .plan
file
(highly recommended), you should create your GEEK CODE BLOCK. This parody
of the
output created by the PGP program will attempt to universalize how
you will see the Geek Code
around the net. Your GEEK CODE BLOCK will look
like the following:
—–BEGIN
GEEK CODE BLOCK—–
Version: 3.1
GED/J d– s:++>: a– C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E—-
W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++ w—
O- M+ V– PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+
DI+++ D+++
G+++++ e++ h r– y++**
——END GEEK CODE BLOCK——
As you
can see, the actual code hasn’t changed. However, the version number
of the code you are using
is displayed along with lines starting and ending
the code. Make sure to duplicate the start
and end lines exactly as the
example in order to maintain a net-wide standard (ie. five dashes
front and
back for the BEGIN line and six for the END line, and all capital letters.)
"HELP!" you scream as your mailer or news reader won’t let you post more
than
four lines in the .signature. That is because some anal programs limit
the size of your
signature. Your next best bet, then is to put your GEEK
CODE BLOCK into your .plan file and
put something to the effect of "Finger
for Geek Code" into your .signature. That, or
get a better mailer.
—————————————————————————
————————————–
—————————————————————————
Where to
find the Geek Code
The Geek Code is available at the following official sites. All
other sites
are not official:
Via World Wide Web
http://krypton.mankato.msus.edu/~hayden/geek.html (HTML Format)
gopher://vax1.mankato.msus.edu:79/Rhayden (ascii format only)
Via Finger
finger
hayden@vax1.mankato.msus.edu (ascii format only)
—————————————————————————
————————————–
—————————————————————————
Copyright
The Geek Code is copyright (C) 1993, 1994, 1995 by Robert A. Hayden. All
provided that
the file remains unmodified and this copyright notice remains
attached. This copyright
prohibits HTMLizing the code for publication on
the web. If you wish to publish abstracts or
portions of the code, contact
the author for permission. If you wish to write an article about
the Geek
Code, please contact the author. All creatures not native to Earth are
exempt
from this copyright, however, they must prove that they qualify.
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