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http://www.pheces.org
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Title: |||| Machines
||||
Date: April 27, 1998
Author: rootwurm & wri0t
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They’re everywhere.
Coke machines, pepsi machines, surge machines, candy machines,
change machines, cash machines,
washing machines, …. what do they all have in common?
They’re machines! (duh) and what are
machines made for? To serve us! and what shall
we make these machines do? you guessed it.
Now, i know there a quite a few text files on the net telling you how to rip off
machines like these, but we hope these ideas will ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK! we’ve tried
these
methods, and they do in fact work (at least they do where we are…bumfuck kentucky).
– THE 2 FOOT DOLLAR BILL –
What you need:
Some clear tape (packing tape werks good)
What to do:
Take the
dollar bill (it should be a fairly crisp, new one for best results)
and lay it faceing up on a
table. Tape the VERY EDGE of it (and by edge, i mean
the short end, next to the big 1’s) Just
extend the length of the dollar until
it is about 2 foot long (with the tape, you dolt). you
only need to attach
the tape to the very edge, like where the green ends. once that’s done,
flip
the dollar back over and tape the other end the same way.
now take your two
foot dollar to a COCA COLA machine (it could POSSIBLE work on
other machines, but we have only
gotten it to werk on coca cola machines. Feed
the dollar to the machine, but hold onto the end
of the tape. when it has gone
all the way into the machine (except for the very edge which you
are holding)
push the button to get a coke. when the coke drops out (and your 50 cents)
pull firmly, but evenly on the end of the tape to retreive you dollar.
walla, a free
coke and change back.
(note: try not to completely empty the machine, because i think
the new
coke machines are "patched" but they haven’t distrubuted them all yet.
if they see that their machine is being hit, then they’ll be sure to put
a new machine in its
place)
— LATEX QUARTERS –
What you need:
1 latex glove (or
condom…haven’t tried a condom, too much lube :-P)
1 quater (yeah, i realize you may be
pressed for cash, but come on!)
What to do:
Goto one of those machines that you
put a quater in it and push the big metal
bar that slides in and drops your quaters down. most
washing machines have these
at laundry mats, and i’ve noticed a few fake tatoo machines in
kmart have them
too.
put the quater in the finger of the glove and put your
quater in the machine.
(don’t put on the gloves) push the bar in, and when you’re laundry
starts
washing (or you get some k-rad body art) pull the glove up. you keep
yer
quater.
(note: this is good for college students who don’t like to pay to wash
their clothes)
— SILENT TIPPING –
What you need:
arms
What to do:
Goto a secluded candy machine (you know the kind that has the little turny
thing that spins and drops your candy where you have to bend over and push
this little door
that doesn’t let you reach your hand under it).
most candy machines have alarms which
try to prevent you from tipping them over
and forcing your candy to fall. well, just unplug
the fucker. look around
the back of the machine and find the plug. unplug it, tip it, grab the
grub,
and plug it back in.
— 1-800-CALL-MOM –
What you need:
fingers
a payphone someplace
What to do:
lucky for me, i’ve got a car and
can drive. but back when i DIDN’T have that
right (goddamn it, it IS a right, not a privledge)
i had to call good ole mom
to come pick me up from the mall and such. Now, back then i rarely
had a quater
with me and now that it’s 35 fucking cents, i’m pretty sure most of you never
"i’m
ready, come pick me up"
well, now all you have to do is call collect. yes, you
heard me right, call
her collect. 1-800-COLLECT. (i’m sure you’ve seen the gay-ass commercials
too)
BUT, when they ask you for your name, you get 4 seconds. now, unless you live
in
south africa or someplace, i don’t see why you get 4 seconds to say your name.
when the
computerized operator says "please state your name" just say "mom i’m
at the
mall, come get me" (you don’t even have to talk fast) and wait on the line.
after a few
minutes, the computerized operator will come back and say "the party
has declined the
call" and your mom should be on her way to get you.
that’s it for now, if
you have ANY tricks that you do that WORK (i don’t want a copy of the jolly
roger’s cookbook)
then send it our way.
later ppl,
t0irw (wri0t@pheces.org) & mruwtoor
(rootwurm@pheces.org)
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((#yep)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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