50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter (i.e. you are going
to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam)
1.Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15
minutes. Wake up, say
"oh geez, better get cracking" and do some
gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes
early.
2.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I’ve got the
3.If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it
is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the
integral symbol.
4.Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the
instructor’s
left nostril.
5.Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions
aloud, debate
your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I’m
SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk
the instructor
is.
6.Bring cheerleaders.
7.Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five
minutes into it, loudly
say to the instructor, "I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been
to
every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are
you? Where’s
the regular guy?"
8.Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc…). Play with the volume
at max
level.
9.On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way
to
refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the
grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative.
10.Bring
pets.
11.Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of
relief. Go to the instructor, say "They’ve found me, I have to leave the
country"
and run off.
12.Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into
Christmas."If
you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam.
Say you lost the first one. Repeat
this process every fifteen minutes.
13.Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent
markers.
14.Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your
head, and nothing else.
15.Come down with a BAD case of Turet’s Syndrome during the
exam. Be as
vulgar as possible.
16.Do the entire exam in another language. If you
don’t know one, make
one up!For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
18.As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19.Walk into the exam with an
entourage. Claim you are going to be
taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the
instructor to let
them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of
20.Every five minutes, stand up, collect
all your things, move to
another seat, continue with the exam.
23.Bring a black
marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers
completely blacked out.
24.Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down
violently, scream out
"Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25.Arrange a protest before the exam
starts (i.e. Threaten the
instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all
leaving
after one hour to go drink)
26.Show up completely drunk. (Completely
drunk means at some point
during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27.Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why,
tell him/her in a very
derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on
above my head when I get an idea is hooked
up to a clapper. DUH!"
28.Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that
day.
29.Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put
on a
white mask and start yelling "I’m here, the phantom of the opera"
until they drag
you away.
30.Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the
class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you
belonged.
Claim that
you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take
the exam.
31.Upon
receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say
"you don’t really expect me
to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our
Lives is on!!!"
33.From the
moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore
the instructor’s requests for you to
stop. When they finally get you to
leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the
Bridge on the
River Kwai.
34.Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
could possibly think
of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most
equations. If it is a written exam, relate
everything to your own life
story.
36.Come in wearing a full knight’s outfit,
complete with sword and
shield.
37.Bring a friend to give you a back massage the
entire way through the
exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad
circulation.
38.Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious…
failing, you’re getting
kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with
the comment "Please use the attached
notes for references as you see
fit."
39.When you walk in, complain about
the heat. Strip.
40.After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
41.One word:
Wrestlemania.
42.Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they
43.Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
Pray to it often.
Consider a small sacrifice.
46.Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams,
etc… sent
to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47.During the exam,
take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
anything you can reach.
48.Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90
degree angle.
asked to stop, say
"it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student
Handbook
with you,
challenging the instructor to find the section on musical
instruments during finals. Don’t
forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
50.Answer the exam with the "Top
Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks
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