GTA
Written by paininvmuthafuckinass AKA slim-ov-derby
What this guide will be set up into
What doesn't work
Recommended cars (old)
Recommended cars (new)
Getting into the car (old)
Getting into the car (new)
Starting the car
Bypassing alarms
Some basic things when driving away
What doesn't work
Ok 1st of all just to get the bullshit out of the way I'm going to tell you what doesn't work.
1. Ripping off under the dash cutting wires and crossing them and what not; that's all bullshit that too many people have seen in the movies, so don't do this!
2. The tennis ball with a hole in it and pushing the lock pins up die to pressure does work, but only on old cars and even sometimes then it won't work
Recommended cars (old)
Fords
Ford Escort 1992-1996
Ford Fiesta 1992-1995
Ford Orion any in 1992 or before
Ford Scorpio all of them made in 1989-1995
Vauxhalls
Vauxhall Nova
Vauxhall Astra mk 1 + 3
Vauxhall Carlton (Easiest one of the lot, and is a common pick for thieves)
Vauxhall Cavalier mk1 and 3
Rovers
Rover Metro (easy to steal and the tennis ball definitely works for it, but they are shit)
Austin Maestro
Any convertible (very few have alarms)
The reason these cars are recommended are because these are the easiest and better 1992 car models which don't have an alarm or an immobilizer and it makes your getaway quicker with us not having to deal with alarms and what not
Recommended cars (new)
Peugeot 206- any
Ford Focus- 2002
Mazda 6- 2005
Any convertible (very few have alarms)
The reason why I recommend these cars is because I just do!, and because they have easy alarms to defeat and are quick and suitable
Getting into the car (old)
Tennis ball pressure method
Ok well first of all if your going for any 1980's-1992 car the tennis ball method will work surprisingly, but again not all the time -_-; but I'll still tell you how you do it.
It works on most old cars though because their keyholes stick out like buttons like in the pic below (it has a black box to make the lock stick out):
First get a tennis ball and a screwdriver. Heat the screwdriver head up and burn a hole inside the tennis ball as pictured below but make it so the hole is the same size circumference as the lock:
Now what you do is make sure the hole in the tennis ball is covering the entire lock, and then you push the tennis ball as hard an quick as you can; keep doing this if it doesn't work at first, and the air pressure from inside the tennis ball should force the pins up on the car lock and allow you to open the door.
Better alternative
Now as I said it will NOT always work, so I'm providing you with a better alternative.
What you'll need is a flathead screwdriver and a hammer and possibly a cloth to help.
What you do is take your flatheaded screwdriver and put it in the lock as much as you can, and when you can't get it in much more hammer it in as far as you can, and then put your cloth over the handle of the screwdriver and begin turning the screwdriver left and right repeatedly so that you break the locks pins and making the door obviously easy to open.
Getting into the car (new)
Before I tell you anything about breaking into any newer cars, I'm first going to give you all a tip.
When you're looking for a newer/posher/more expensive car it is better to go to areas and neighbourhoods that are rich and low in crime rate.
The reason behind this being that the rich cunts in these areas all know and usually trust each other and because of the low crime rate, some snobby bastard MIGHT leave their car unlocked because they feel safe.
So always check first to see if the car is already unlocked; but be warned that since they're richer they WILL have alarms in the car.
Slim jimming
Slim jimming is most likely your best method for newer cars.
First of all you'll need a slim jim (I suggest actually buying one so it comes with instructions [you'll see why later])
Here's what you're looking for anyway (sizes vary):
If you are a beginner you should ask the manufacturers maintenance and read the manual. You should try to become familiar with the door locking mechanism you are trying to unlock. These mechanisms vary from model year to year and from one manufacturer to another. The control arm may be located to the front or rear of the door lock.
What you do is separate the weather stripping from the window, slide the slim jim in notch end 1st and you should be trying to get the slim jims notch under the bar and then lift up to unlock the car. The bar is most of the time 8 inches under the lock button; so once you
find/feel it, push down slowly and then pull it up fast and it should pop the lock up.
If you can't get a slim jim then you should just get a coat hanger and bend it into the shape in the pic below (well something to that extent anyway) and use that in the same way.
Popping the window out
As soon as you read this you may have been thinking "wtf this is fucking ridiculous we're going to get caught"
Well first of all there is no life without risk and this is probably not what you're thinking anway so shut up and read.
1st of all do this on the passenger side because the glass MIGHT shatter, and we don't want glass sticking in our arse while we drive.
What you do is take a screwdriver and put it inside the weather stripping and turn it to the side, or slide it along the quarter glass and it should either crack the window or pop it out. And it's been suggested to have some dowel to lever on.
Starting the car
Getting the steering wheel lock off
Ok now that your in the car you my notice a steering wheel lock.
Now there are 2 ways of dealing with this and both ways they definitely relieve stress lets put it that way.
1. You can turn it as hard as you can from left to right until it breaks
2. You can sit back and kick the bottom part of the steering wheel off so that there is no other part for the lock to stay on, so it will fall off (see diagram below if you don't get me)
Now what I suggest before starting the car up is putting the gear box into neutral and then taking the handbrake off and letting it roll away from the persons house before starting it up (just so it's less likely to wake them up)
You can use many ways to take the ignition barrel out to start the car up so I'll cover 2 of them here:
Take your best friend Mr Screwdriver and put him between the dash and ignition barrel and pry it out like in the pic below:
Now shove your screwdriver in there and turn until you get the engine up and running.
Second way is by using a dent puller; and the way you do this is to put it into the ignition and then just pull the fucker out, put your screwdriver in and turn.
Here is an alternate way of starting the car up:
Feel around the steering wheel column until you can feel a gap; now pull back as hard as you can and rip it off. Opposite the ignition barrel there's a black cap which you'll need to break off so that you can get to a square hole for you to put your flathead screwdriver into, and then...you guessed it, turn and start her up.
Bypassing alarms(old)
Not all old cars have alarms but some do; and you can tell which they are by looking on the dash for a red light that's blinking.
To get passed the alarms you'll need to take the head light cover off, take out the indicator bulb and then put your screwdriver or anything metal in it's place; what this does it short circuit the alarm.
But in the head light is just one of the many places a car alarm is. It really depends on the car and you'll need to do some research on them yourself (I'm not doing all the work for you you lazy fuckers)
Here are some resources for you:
HowStuffWorks "Car-alarm Door Sensors"
HowStuffWorks "How Car Alarms Work"
Some basic things to keep in mind when driving away
-Now what I suggest before starting the car up is putting the gear box into neutral and then taking the handbrake off and letting it roll away from the persons house before starting it up (just so it's less likely to wake them up)
-Stay off main roads and stick to back streets
-It's recommended you steal someone else's plates and switch them
-If you gained entry with screwdriver then get the locks changed, because chop shops don't like fucked up locks
-Same with the ignition barrel
I'll be updating the alarms section when I have more time, but I thought I'd bring it forward for you all anyway