[blackrose_426]

i heard this joke from a teacher of mine when i was in school. its called the voodoo dick joke.

so theres this guy that works for a large company that requires him to do a lot of buisness trips. they usualy last for 3 day trips and he's home for 3 days. well after one of his buisness trips he goes home to his wife and she tells him "honey, i love you but your gone so much i never get to see you and ive been getting real horney withought you. i dont know what to do and i dont want to cheat on you because we're maried.
and the next day he goes out to the local sex shop. and this guy has never been in a place like this before. so he's looking around annd he see's dildos and all sorts of shit he's never seen before. as he's looking at the products he sais to him self i have no idea what to get ive never heard of any of this stuff. well the cashire overheard him and he says to the guy, "hey come over here, i have a new product in the back that you might be interested in." as there walking to the back room the cashire says this product is going to replace everything in the store. they get to the back room and its empty. nothing on the shelves exept for one wooden box in the middle of the floor. the cashire says to the guy "hey check this out. VOODOO DICK RISE." and this box opens up all by itself and this huge black dildo rises up in mid air and floats. the guy has a stunned look on his face and the cashire says "VOODOO DICK KEYHOLE" and this dildo starts fucking this keyhole like mad, i mean realy fucking raming this thing. and the guy says alright ive seen enough i want it now i dont care how much it is. then the cashire interups him and says just remember the only way to shut it of is to say VOODOO DICK BOX. they guy says yeah whatever and buys it.

well when he gest home he shows his wife the new toy and how it works and she says "well thanks hunny i dont know if i'll use it but if i do i'll be thinking of you." the next day he goes on another buisness trip and by the second day the wife cant stand it anymore. she yells VOODOO DICK RISE and it comes up out of the box, with a big smile on her face she says VOODOO DICK PUSSY and this thing starts fucking her like she never had before. about 3 or 4 orgasms later she cant stand it anymore and she doesnt know how to shut this thing off so she decides to go to the hospital and get if removed. so she jumps in her car and starts speeding down the road swerving all over the place and a cop pulles her over, walks up to the window ans says "lady do you have any idea why i pulled you over?" and she replies "but you dont understand officer, theres this voodoo dick and its fucking my pussy and i need to get to the hospital." the cop interups her and says "VOODOO DICK MY ASS. lmao its long but a good joke when told the first time.