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Guide to Federal Government Agencies

Within a federal system, Government Agencies are generally established by national government or state government. These federal agencies are in charge to oversee and govern particular functions generally related to intelligence, defense etc.


Stands for Central Intelligence Agency. This group is responsible for international intelligence gathering, as well as the spread of democracy,

not shoving it down their throats…List of United States Federal Government Agencies.

Washington, D.C. (703) 351-1000
New York City (212) 755-0027
Chicago (312) 353-2980
Los Angelos (213) 622-6875
Boston (617) 354-5965
Miami (305) 445-3658
Houston (713) 229-2739
St. Louis (314) 621-6902

Don’t ask me what they need offices in the U.S. for…


Stands for Department Of Defense these are the boys who rent office space in the pentagon… They are the armed forces, here to protect us from the vile armies of other nations…

Pentagon (202) 545-6700


Stands for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. These are the boys who make weapons for the military. They are very up on particle beam weapons, lasers, missle tracking, and even biocybernetics (the direct interfacing of man and machine- imaging hacking as fast as you can think about it… This has potential).

Arlington, VA (202) 694-3007


Stands for National Security Agency. These are the brain boys, the think tanks for the the military. If you have nightmares, these people arie the ones who should be starring. They are the govt. Computer and telecom experts.

(301) 688-6311


Stands for Department Of Justice this is the court system, however i do not agree with their idea of justice (what do you expect fro a man who thinks g. Gordon liddy is cool?).

Washington, D.C. (202) 633-2000


Stands for Federal Bureau Of Investigations. These are the nosey people in the world who bust in doors. Believe it or not, most of them know nothing about what they do since their college degrees are in economics and accounting and the like. Frankly, these guys don’t scare me… They are pretty dumb, and are totally out of their class when it comes to computers.

Washington, D.C. (202) 324-3000 (a side note: look at a touch tone pad. 324 either spells ‘FBI’ OR ‘FAG’. I wonder if someone in the telco has a sense of humor?)


Stands for Drug Enforcement Agency. If you wake up one morning and their is someone digging in your ‘garden’ it is them. They don’t like you to enjoy yourself, or engage in a little recreational soaring…

Washington, D.C. (202) 633-1249


Stands for Department Of State. When you hack the russian computer, they aren’t pleased, one of two groups will knock at your door. The telco or the state department.


Just is a group of guys who are very good liars and very good at reading people. They keep watch from the embassy…

Washington, D.C. (202) 655-4000


Stands for Department Of Treasury throw away the color xerox machine when these people knock, since they don’t like you passing bad bills. They keep track and print all the money in the country (except for a few friends of mine who…)

Washington, D.C. (202) 566-2000

Secret Service:

For the most part, the secret service protects the president (that’s why we have lost a few), grabs counterfeiters, and used to bust mobsters.

Washington, D.C. (202) 535-5708 (note: do the initials ‘ss’ mean much to those of you up on the Nazis????)

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, And Firearms:

Frankly, I could do without these do-gooders. They enforce all laws pertaining to alcohol, tobacco, and firearms (if it wasn’t obvious).

Washington, D.C. (202) 566-7511


Stands for Internal Revenue Service. Arg! The tax man! The only thing is, their computer would be the ultimate hack. Think about it…

Washington, D.C. (202) 566-5000

This concludes list of Federal Government Agencies.

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