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How To Prevent Big-Bubba Rape

— Posted by Stravox on 11:25 pm on April 8, 2002

Ok, so I was thinking the other day about everyones worst nightmare, Big Bubba, and wondering what if I get thrown in prison and have to protect my ass.
You see, unlike alot my fellow dumbasses out there, I am over 18, so I would be goin to the jack-you-up-yo-ass lockup federal penitentary, not juvinile hall.  (Although Juvey has big bubbas also, or rather little bubbas… more on that later though)

So I was thinking of tactics that I could use to protect myself.  Other than obviously learning some serious self-defense, I was wondering if any of you blokes had any suggestions on this matter.  Perhaps we have an experienced ass-master out there who could tell us how to ward off Big Bubba and his minions.

Oh yea, about Juvinile Hall, I thought Id share this story with you guys.  Now this is completely true, I know the guy that this happened to, but it was told to me by his best friend, who was locked up in Juvey with him.  So what happened was this one kid was getting raped by little bubba and little bubbas minions day after day untill he couldnt take it anymore.  I mean he was mentally breaking down and getting suicidal.  So one day, he had got a couple of razors which he stuck up his ass (i didnt believe it when I heard it, but the kid was going insane…), and the next time Bubba came around, he didnt put up a fight for them, he just let him have thier way.  Well, when Bubba shoved his prick up this kids ass, he had his dick completely split in half.  

Now, I sure as hell dont want to have to resort to this kind of tactic to ward off Big Bubba.

— Posted by IcedMetal on 11:39 pm on April 8, 2002

How about staying the fuck out of there in the first place?

But if jail is inevitable…..  then you’re screwed.

— Posted by qmakowski on 7:29 pm on April 9, 2002

here you go 🙂
1: start working out
2:take karate
3: join a local kickboxing club
4:if you do get cought and go to jail… plede insanity… you’ll be sent in a nice room with padded walls and a safe ass.
“those who listen to me are my follower and i bless you with my intelligence”

— Posted by Roland49686 on 7:43 pm on April 9, 2002

Stand against the wall in the shower.
Don’t drop the soap
Prevent unnessecary nudity

There is no real way to protect your corn-hole in prison. You can kiss your heterosexuality good-bye

— Posted by Darkie on 7:57 pm on April 9, 2002

I read a book where something like this was done. The difference was that the victim was a chick and shestuck it in ur pussy. Take a thin pipe about 2 inches long and half an inch thick. Take a few needles and some glue. Pour the glue into the pipe that is capped on one end and stick a few needles in so they are glued with their tips sticking out of thepipe about one to half an inch. now insert, capped end first of course. Insert till you can barely not see the needles. When bubba makes his move he will not get far and then BAM!. While he is stunned looking at his punctured penis take ur time and really give him a hrd kick in the face. Or hit him with a brick. The chick used a hypo needle with some knock out serum in it. It was more passive defense than offensive defense. It can be modified, and although i have NOT tried it, i would imagen it would be safe.

— Posted by tee hee on 9:38 pm on April 9, 2002

Start watching Oz .It might help you mentally prepare.

— Posted by IcedMetal on 9:40 pm on April 9, 2002

That takes guts.

— Posted by sinstar on 9:59 pm on April 9, 2002

Take a plastic toothbrush and hold a lighter to the handle let it melt a bit then scrape it off a wall so you got a point,VOLIA an icepick.

— Posted by Jimmy Long on 10:00 pm on April 10, 2002

well look, the way i see it, theyre gonna rape you if they want. you can shove razors up your ass, but if that goes wrong, when they rape u the NEXT time, ur gonna have a cut up ass to deal with as well as a large black penis. just tell em ur gonna give em head and bite their dick off and twist their balls and pull. then they cant even pleasure THEMSELVES! MUAHAHAHA. talk about ur own personal hell. but anyways, i figure it works for girls, might as well work for guys. i wouldnt know, never had my fudge packed before. why dont u just stick ur thumb up ur ass and laugh uncontrollably. theyll just think ur insane. fuck this, im high. peace

— Posted by Longbaugh on 10:18 pm on April 10, 2002

If you go to prison the best thing to do would be get a rep for being a real violent , crazy fucker … or get friends in certain “groups” (prison gangs) so guys wont want to fuck with you .

I’ve also heard that its best to kill anyone that tries to rape you or make you part of the fifty-cent stable .

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