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Deciding who is the worst among current totalitarian leaders is like deciding from which bucket of buzzard puke to drink. For starters, here is some help with an easier chose – making life bad for some true jerks. The best part is that you can use people’s natural inclination to “join” as your ally.

It happens. Some group like Gay Awareness, or Coal Companies to Desecrate America, or Veterans to Invade the Pentagon does something heinous to you. Compounding this latest affront is your mark – a neighbor, boss, coworker or some other fool – whom you have placed on the association’s roaster without his or her knowledge. If you like the ideas that follow, thank Bartholomew McHilicudy.

“Advertise your mark’s home or apartment as the meeting place for the nasty group,” advises Bart. “Use different media to advertise – public service spots on local radio and TV, newspaper mentions, ads, notices in stores. Hit all the local outlets. Tell people in bars and grocery stores.”

As an extra suggestion, you can also get hold of the floating mike at the local department store or entire mall complex and sneak in an announcement or two. Keep’em brief, like ten seconds, and then split as soon as you’re off the air.

Here are some dummy organizations you can sponsor:
  • Herpes Without Partners
  • AIDS Where It Hurts
  • Gay Rights Sleep-in
  • Proud to Be Pederast Parents
  • Chlamydia Victims Cookout
  • Immoral Mothers of __________ County

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