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Bumper Stickers

My buddy, the Hombre for Justice, firit wrote me a sad letter telling me how he was an unaggressive sort of guy who was always being picked upon and bullied, and how he hated himself. He suffered more nastiness by uncaring institutions and people who get back at his tormentors. It is an inspirational story that brings lumps to my eyes and tears to my throat.

Hombre likes to use bumper stickers and gets his printed salvation from the various companies that sell custom stickers.

Here is a partial inventory of the bumper stickers that Hombre uses on his mark’s cars, buildings, offices, homes, etc.

  • Screw Lazy Americans, Drive A Foreign Car
  • God Sucks
  • God Sucks And Gives Change
  • I [Heart Sign] Communism
  • Have You Hit Your Kid Today?
  • (Team Name) Fans Are Pussies
  • Bikers On Harleys Are Queer
  • I’m Married Too, Let’s Screw
  • For Free Sex Call (Include Victim’s Number)
  • Honk If You Want Head

Dick Smegma is a professional nasty man. Check out the big league style he has for the use of bumper stickers. First, Dick says they should never be placed on a mark’s bumper. “Always place them on the trunk lids and smooth them down tight. Use the ‘super-stick’ kind that remove the paint when they come off.”

Finally, thanks to Shadow for a couple more sticker ideas:

  • I’m Proud To Have Herpes
  • Aid Me To Get More Aids
  • I [Heart Sign] Aids
  • Herpes/Aids, Pass It On

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