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Business Reply Mail

A few weeks ago I got some unwanted mail trying to raise funds to buy private military supplies for one or more of the fascist dictatorships in Latin America. I have little time for these enemies of all free people, so I thought I would donate some medical supplies…collect…as there was a return reply envelope included with their mailing.

Using a tactic borrowed from a right-wing acquaintance, I got several old gasoline cans and filled them with used oil…perfect for treating skin problems like redass and redneck. I packaged them well and marked the parcel EMERGENCY MEDICAL SUPPLIES…PRIORITY MAIL. I put their postage-paid return envelope on the parcel and mailed it. The good old USPS took care of it very handily for me, even with a smile.

Maybe that’s because I was smiling too.

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