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Not everyone is hibernating on college Campuses. Although it’s true that many students have become docile zombies, lobotimized by lethal doses of television and the bureaucracy of the educational system, there are a few live ones. At an eastern university, a number of students got upset with the rent gouging of a massive corporation acting as an absentee landlord for private off-campus dormitories. After getting nowhere appealing to an untesticled school administration, and after being ignored by a housing inspector and a city council belonging to the same social class and clubs as the corporate landlords, the students held a pizza party.

The unusual part was the the pizza party was held in the clothes dryers of the dormitory laundry rooms. One particpant reported, “We dumped a couple of really gooey pizzas in each dryer, put in the coins, and turned them on.”

Try cleaning up that one!

Epilogue: The corporate landlord and his student tenants settled their problems shortly after the party, totally to the satisfaction of the young protestors.

Professor James Shannon claims that college students of the past had heinous imaginations. Today, of course, many students are content merely to move around enough to prevent roots from forming on their contact surfaces with the ground. Professor Shannon suggests that if you have a teacher you don’t like, and he/she lectures from a desk or podium on a raised platform, you move the stand so its legs are barely balanced on the front edge of the platform. When the academic leans forward on the structure ever so slightly, it will come crashing forward. With any luck the pedagogue will land on top of it.

At an eastern university, two looser colleagues filled a humorless and bookish faculty member’s office closet with several large and irritable geese one evening. The professor was in the habit of arriving quite early for 8:00 AM class, early enough so that the hasty-tempered birds would just be awakening. When he opened the closet door they woke up and became badly aggressive really fast. Eyewitness reports left no doubt whose feathers were ruffled most.

This will be truly appreciated only by those privy to the pettiness of academia: Other colleagues of this same professor sometimes send truly pedantic, nasty, personal, and vindictive memoranda to various other faculty members, deans, etc., in the name of their priggish colleagues.

On one occasion they sent really nasty letters to the parents of a few of this faculty member’s students, giving the poor folks hell for daring to produce such genetic drift as their kids, much less turning them loose on a college campus. The school’s PR people had a terrible time getting out from under that one. As for the mark, the dumb schmuck had no idea why so many on Campus people disliked him. But please take his colleagues word for it–he deserves every bit of it.


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