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The only bad thing about The Clay Demolay Delicatessen is the fact that bugs, insects, and other many-legged vermin are among its best customers. While the employees begged for sanitation improvements, the owner, Myers Demolay, just chortled and counted his profits. One of these employees, whom we’ll call Deliboy Dave, finally tired of begging for better working conditions. He decided to bug the boss, literally.

“One summer, we had a mammoth order for hoagies that I had to prepare. The big horse flies were buzzing all around as I worked,” Deliboy Dave recounts, “so, I started using two pieces of provolone cheese as a compression fly swatter. I’d blast a few bugs between two slices of the cheese, leaving the small corpses and attendant gore on the slices.

“Then, I’d add the fly ‘n guts garnished slices to the hoagies on our assembly line. Nobody noticed, and about one hundred-fifty hoagues went out that day. I didn’t work the next day, but I was told that some eighty irate people stormed the place.”

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