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Electronic Terrorism

It starts when a big, dumb lummox rudely insults you. Being of a rational, intelligent disposition, you wisely choose to avoid a (direct) confrontation. But as he laughs in your face, you smile inwardly—your revenge is already planned.

Step 1: follow your victim to his locker, car, or house. Once you have chosen your target site, lay low for a week or more, letting your anger boil.

Step 2: in the mean time, assemble your versatile terrorist kit(details below.)

Step 3: plant your kit at the designated target site on a monday morning between the hours of 4:00 am and 6:00 am. Include a calm, suggestive note that quietly hints at the possibility of another attack. Do not write it by hand!

An example of an effective note: “don’t be such a jerk, or the next one will take off your hand. Have a nice day.” Notice how the calm tone instills fear. As if written by a homicidal psychopath. Step 5: choose a strategic location overlooking the target site. Try to position yourself in such a way that you can see his facial contortions. Step 6: sit back and enjoy the fireworks!

Assembly of the versatile, economic, and effective terrorist kit #1:

The parts you’ll need are:

1) 4 aa batteries
2) 1 9-volt battery
3) 1 spdt mini relay (radio shack)
4) 1 rocket engine(smoke bomb or m-80)
5) 1 solar ignitor (any hobby store)
6) 1 9-volt battery connector

Step 1: take the 9-volt battery and wire it through the relay’s coil. This circuit should also include a pair of contacts that when separated cut off this circuit. These contacts should be held together by trapping them between the locker,mailbox, or car door. Once the door is opened, the contacts fall apart and the 9-volt circuit is broken, allowing the relay to fall to the closed postion thus closing the ignition circuit. (If all this is confusing take a look at the schematic below.)

Step 2: take the 4 aa batteries and wire them in succession. Wire the positive terminal of one to the negative terminal of another, until all four are connected except one positive terminal and one negative terminal. Even though the four aa batteries only combine to create 6 volts, the increase in amperage is necessary to activate the solar ignitor quickly and effectively.

Step 3: take the battery pack (made in step 2) and wire one end of it to the relay’s single pole and the other end to one prong of the solar ignitor. Then wire the other prong of the solar ignitor back to the open position on the relay.

Step 4: using double sided carpet tape mount the kit in his locker, mailbox, or car door. And last, insert the solar ignitor into the rocket engine (smoke bomb or m-80).

Your kit is now complete!


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