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Health Notice

You need to have professional printing to get this stunt started. That, and human nature, will assure that the stunt works, says Dick Smegma, a master who lost his amateur status years ago.

Here’s the deal. Get phony forms printed that look as if they’re from your state’s health department. Use all the official seals, etc. This is why you need to have a friendly printer in your trust.

Use the form to report to your mark that he/she has been sexually active with a partner who has been positively diagnosed as having AIDS. The form should carry the warning, “Please refrain from sexual relations of any kind until we can diagnose your case.” Tell the mark to bring this form in person to (address of local clinic filled in) on (set a date and time). Include some reference numbers, case numbers, etc. Insist that the mark bring along any spouse or regular sexual partner, too.

The mark will be in panic, especially if he/she is a straight arrow. It could cause all sorts of fun with spouses, friends, employers, etc. Also, think of the yuks when he/she shows up at the clinic.

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