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Our kindly charities would have you invite every deprived/depraved minority from boat people to orphans to democrats into your home fpr Chistmas, birthdays, and other Holidays. Down at the Louisiana School of Living Divinity, the Rev. Tobin Williams has an interesting alternative. He thinks it would be nice to invite some roadkill.

“Imagine the looks on the mark’s and his family’s faces when they’re gathered around the holiday tree or festive table as the posthumous guest of honor is unveiled – inside a gaily wrapped package.

“You need an opaque plastic bag, of course, so the mark or his designee will reach in and grab hold of the roadkill. It would also help if this bag is hermetically sealed to hold in the festive aroma until the very last minute.

“It goes without saying that this present must be appropriately gift-wrapped and carded,” says Rev. Williams.

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