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Dolly Gurney, who toils in the medical profession in West Virginia, has a neasty twist of humor. She offers up some intelligence which might be useful to repay a hospital for.

Whenever a body (aka a dead person) is being moved from one area of a hospital to another, it is usually loaded onto the bottom tray of one of the double layer carts they use. This makes it look less ominous, I suppose. The body is hidden under a sheet so unsuspecting visitors fresh from seeing Uncle Joe in his last throes of terminal herpes won’t be offended by another stiff. To check, look carefully for the white toe-tag clipped to the sheet. Hospital orderlies haul these loads during their routine rounds.

Sometimes, the deceased is unattended for three, four or even five minutes at a time. Sound like part of a comedy film plot? Nope, it’s true. How much imagination does it take to list five quick stunts you could pull involving their silent coconspirator?

Dolly revealed an incident from her own medical facilty when one of the snotty clerks from the front office, a habitual gossip and confirmed bitch, was standing in the hall flapping her mouth in a torrent of lies about some other employee’s sex life. Dolly says on of the orderlies had his buddy assume the corpse position on the lower shelf of meat wagon, complete with a tag on a bare toe peeking out from under the almost carefully tucked sheet.

Laughing with her usual guest, Dolly continued, “This orderly was whistling gaily as he approached the bitch and her cornered audience. They looked up and saw what was coming – no big deal. As the orderly drew abreast of the gossip, he slowed almost to a stop as if not being able to pass. “At that very moment, the other orderly, pretending to be a corpse on the lower shelf, slowly reached his hand out from under the sheet and firmly grabbed the bitch’s ankle.”
Dolly reports that the shirek was heard from Pittsburgh to Louisville, and that the markess had to change her underwear immediately after she revived by an ammonia cap. Yeah, I like it, too.

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