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This one is from a grand lady who now lives in California. She’s had a bad time because she is good, honest, hard working and good looking. But best of all, she has a grand sense of humor, and she also knows how to use fleas.

She suggests you take three or four plastic storage bags that seal and put a small a mount of honey in the bottom of each. Blow some air into each bag. The, Jennifer says, locate some roaming neighborhood cat that is always outside, i.e., a full-occupancy flea motel. Hold the bag over the cat’s back and run the open end along the fur as you pretend to pet it. You will sweep up many fleas into the bag.

Next, take the bags of fleas to your mark’s car. If you want the fleas to a nice home, sprinkle some powered sugar around the interior of the vehicle, too. This also works for apartments, mail slots, etc.

It may be true that the early worm risks being eaten by a late-night bird, but cockroaches will probably outlive us all. There must be growing appreciation for cockroaches, though, as both Shadow and The Quarter Machine suggested cockroach eggs as a useful tool for the happy Hayduker.

These little eggs, which look just like popcorn kernels, can be gathered from most fleabag apartments and hostels. Some laboratory supply companies also sell them. They would be a delightful present for that special someone, especially if he or she likes popcorn.

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