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Local Officials

Political philosopher Fearing Pangborn, director general of the Albanian Human Rights Council, mistrust both the U.S. and the USSR war- monger governments. Speaking of them in tandem, he notes, “Facts without theory is trivia, while theory without facts is bull.” All of which brings up this great scam played on small-town bozos.

The hero is very careful not to give away anything of his identity to us because he’s still having too much fun to even risk getting caught. But it’s all true. Basically, what he let me know so far is that small community’s “old boy club” leaders screwed him badly on a business deal on favor of one of the old boy’s sons, using insider data via the local bank president. Nasty business. Much of the blame goes to the police chief and the mayor who brought blackmail pressure on the banker because of his extramarital affair with a local lady. The lawyer who gained big bucks was the mayor’s son.

Our hero had a friend in another town across the country get him a fine transceiver with the local police and emergency frequencies on it, including the scrambled tactical operating frequencies. He had another out-out-state friend wire a connector between his transceiver and his car’s cassette player.

Our hero rides around the area at odd hours of the day and night playing quick snatches of porno cassettes featuring very explicit sound effects. He precedes the tape selection with a recorded cut-in done by another out-of-state friend who can imitate Johnny Carson and the voices of other stars, saying things like, “And now, dear friends, here is my on-the- spot recording of the mayor’s daughter whoring around with the police chief’s mother.”

Naturally, in a small town, all sorts of gossip about this has started, and our hero has become a folk hero to an underground newsletter started by an out-of-work bunch of labor-union folks who also have justified grudges against the power elite of the town.

Not only can you use a transceiver with the proper crystals of frequencies to have fun in official radioland, you can also modify the official actions of the minions of this land. As Jake Buckshot explains, “I got an official transceiver through a buddy who had been a cop until he tired of the ‘bash first, ask later’ mentality in his town and moved on. I use it to cut in on stupid dispatch orders.

“We had some bluenoses upset about a nude section of public beach up here. They pressured the local police into hassling these quiet folks who felt like sunning and swimming without suits. I decided to help out these dumb Nazis we got here playing cop.” “I cut into and overrode the dispatcher – I’m a ham operator and radio buff and know how to soup my set – and said, ‘Disregard previous instructions, beach squad. Return to base for visual instructions.’ “Another time I sent them to the mayor’s house for a reported orgy on the lawn, only I didn’t tell them the mayor lived at that address.”

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