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Mass Transit

A large bag of bees, horseflies, moths or crickets placed open on a seat will do wonders for the morale of passengers on a bus or train. Obviously, at times the most effective schemes are hardly that at all. They are just simple actions. For example, Filthy McNasty says one of the best ways to attack a bus or airliner is to gross people out. The simplest way to do this, according to Filthy, is to vomit in such a way that the other passengers can’t escape seeing or hearing your act.

If you feel like being a little more sophisticated, he suggests you let loose sneaky squirts from a CS or CN “tear gas” pen on a bus or train. Another of Filthy McNasty’s goodies for mass transit vehicle is to hollow out a light bulb or large christmas ornamnet, then fill it with the stinko solution or gas of your choice. Epoxy shut the opening, and place the stink bomb in a paper bag. When you have selected your target area, place the bag on the floor, open the top, then stomp on the bulb. Exit the bus quickly. This one also works well in the office, a gymnasium, part, funeral home, et cetera.

A city bus collided with Jack Bacon’s parked car, and the transit authority at first refused to pay him at all, then dragged its feet on his insurance claims. In this case, Jack’s no-fault insurance didn’t help. finally getting his money after a year’s wait, neo-dirty trickster Jack read *Get Even* and waited six more months. Then he launched his campaign.

“I had posters printed with the mass transit authority logo on them offering half-fare tokens and free rides for senior citizens diuring rush hour. I also has printed pads of free ride anf half-price coupons, all with official-lookign dates and numbers. This scam created chaos for three days and continued the hassle for the authority for three weeks. There were also hundreds of really irritated people and several lawsuits. I was satisfied, though.”


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