Neil Nixon had this nasty neighbor we’ll call William F. Smith. Smith’s dog was almost as ugly as its owner, especially in temperament. The major difference between the two was that the dog didn’t have acne scars. One day the dog attacked and bit Neil Nixon, after crossing two yards to get at our correspondent. The attack was totally unprovoked and obviously unwelcomed. Let’s pick up Neil’s account (and accounting) of the matter.
“I got some nasty wounds and a fair-sized scar on my leg. I decided to bite back at Smith’s ego. I got a medical association letterhead by taking a junk mail piece soliciting research fund support, then making a clean letterhead from it with a Xerox machine. The resultant copy looked just like clean, new letterhead.
“I then used a public typewriter to send him the following letter, slightly revised copies of which I also sent to his wife, employer, and closest business associates, asking for their help in persuading Smith to come out of his sacred closet.”
Neil’s letter read:
As the leading publisher of medical books dealing with unusual problems, we will offer you $50 if you allow our photographer to picture your barnaclelike acne condition which is of considerable interest to our readers.
You and your condition were brought to our attention by (name mark’s doctor) whose nurse told some of her friends about you. They have described the gross appearance of this advanced stage of acne and suggested we contact you. We are also contacting your close friends and business associates in hopes that they might help convince you to share your sorrow with others, all in the interest of medical science, of course.