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The canard that began World War II in Europe was based on the tenets of dirty trickery. On 1 September 1939, a group of what appeared to be Polish soldiers attacked a German radio station near the two countries’ borders. In “self-defense,” German units then fired upon Polish units in Danzig.

That stunt actually started World War II.

The so-called aggressors who attacked the German radio station were actually inmates from German concentration camps, dressed in Polish army uniforms, driven from Germany to the radio site near the border and injected with the lethal drug skophedal. The dying men were spread out in what appeared to be a firefight scenario and riddled with bullets by German SS men. A few who survived told the story. The German code name for this “military” operation was Canned Goods.

While serving as a guest of Uncle Sam, I had some intelligence assignments. There I found out that there are two types of intelligence — military and human. Or as Groucho Marx said, “Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.”

You can get arrested for falsely wearing the real uniform of the armed forces. That’s why some tricksters don’t wear an actual uniform but either build or rent a replica that surely looks real. That way they are free to give speeches, shout orders, make bogus policy pronouncements, hold press conferences, use rank, and all sorts of other bits of theater from which the average citizen might infer that the actor really does represent the official military. This sort of incorrect inference could cause all sorts of public-relations and worse problems for the military establishment. Could this be considered contributing to the delinquency of a major?

Although the Yippies are a generation or so forgotten, and at least as this is written, our army is no longer a high-profile domestic villian, someone may still want to pull one off for old times’ sake. A Jerry Rubin trick would be to find a somewhat deserted area of a large public recreational park. Place some official-looking, commercially printed signs in prominent places. The signs will say:


Army war dogs training in this area.

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