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Movie Theaters

People who sit in the front seats are annoying and wont listen when you ask them. To tackle this situation, either bring to the theater or fill in the theater restroom, a twelve- to sixteen-ounce container of water. Pour it slowly on the seat in front of you. Nobody will want to stay in a wet seat.

Caution: You might warn people before they sit down in front of you that others tried to sit there earlier, but the seat(s) is(are) wet.

If you hate the theater having cause to get back at the management, substitute some kind of glue, rubber cement, corn syrup, or something else gooey for water. Again, be kind, warn the potential sitters first. If it’s your lucky day, maybe they will be obnoxious jerks who will tell you to mind your own business and sit down anyway.

Another Movie Theater revenge story

Saul Nerkmeister was annoyed as hell when he had to sit through a movie with a bunch of teenie punkers who talked, whispered, giggles, smoked, then noisily ate candy from crinkly paper bags. He complained to the ticket kid – a shaved-head clone of the punkers – who just smiled vacuously. Saul came back the following week to take his revenge.

The same gang was at this Movie Theater, too. Saul had borrowed a friend’s bratty baby, who cried and cried and cried throughout the film. Saul, who had target shooter’s ear plugs in his ears, had a jolly old time. He couldn’t even hear the punkers cursing him and the baby.

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