Are Father’s Day, Grandma’s Day, Ex-Spouse Day, and all of the other sentimental holidays really historic or are they just an accumulation of marketing scams by greeting-card companies? Bring up the music maestro, let’s explore the issue.

Ah, the hell with it. Here’s what you do. You know those expensive cards with little mechanical music-makers inside that play some sappy song when you set them of? Set off a whole bunch of them in a store… as in a concert of cacophony.

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• Holidays