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New Employee

Following are some tricks and pranks you can play with your newly employed subordinate.

1) Send a new employee for various mythical items such as:

  • Double sided transperencies
  • Dehydrated Water
  • Bucket of compressed air
  • A one molar solution of water
  • A stanchion remover
  • A bucket of steam
  • A phallopian tube
  • A long weight (long wait)
  • A short weight
  • Short circuits
  • Lightning bolts
  • Skyhooks
  • A “mattababe” (as in what’s a “mattababe”)
  • A “dickfore” (same as above)
  • A piston return spring
  • A left handed wrench, hammer, razor…
  • Agent Orange (paint color)
  • Sparkplugs for a desiel engine
  • A short/long stand
  • A chain stretcher
  • Hydraulic cement bender
  • Snowtires for the shopping carts

2) Tell the new employee that the management at the movie theater or other concession stand wants exactly 47 nachos on every tray and they’ll get upset if the victim doesn’t do it.


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