Like bacteria, franchised fast photo service outlets have developed all over the country. Jimi the Z says most of them charge outrageous prices for what passes as speedy, but sporadic service. He wants you to go after these outlets if they mess up your holiday, party, or vaction snapshots.
Before getting down to business, he cautions, “Please don’t hassle any of these places unless provoked. Some of the smaller independents and even some chains do really good work and do it cheaply. So make sure you’re in the right, then knock ’em over.”
Jimi the Z has many scenarios to help you process these photo failures through your own negative exposure to revenge. One of his operations involved obtaining some scuzzy porno pictures and recopying them on 35mm color film.
“I got them processed by a friend, then used the offending photo lab’s own envelopes to mail selected photos and negatives to local bluenoses, moral jackoffs, and others of that ilk. I offended many birds with that one pornographic stone.”
As an alternative, you might recopy the porno photos, then send them to the offending photo lab for processing in the name of another mark of your choice. Or better yet, put them in the name of the mark’s spouse or current love interest. The lab develops the film, processes the order, and the mark gets the picture. Both marks go around at each other over this. This scam costs and costs in material, goodwill, public relations, and the emotional stress for all parties involved…except you, hopefully.
If you don’t get a vengeful rise out of porno, try something technical instead, says Jimmy. Load some 35mm Kodak Kodalith Ortho film into bulk loading cassettes (availiable from Kodak or dealers), then identify it as C-41 color film and deliver it to your photo lab/mark. Processing it will wreck their entire chemical system amd cause a lot of expensive down time.
Jimi the Z also suggests you might want to “volunteer” to be the offending film lab’s advertising agency. Put ads in the local paper or on radio offering things like “half-price on all processing for this weekend only.” Or offer each customer a free roll of color film with every roll they bring in to be processed. Considering that photo labs are always running promotions similar to these. it is easy to place these ads. You can let your anger, conscience, and fortitude be your guide.
Been taking your own porno shots? Let’s say your unfavorite lab doesn’t like your swinging pictures and do-it-yourself porn. Run ads on behalf of the lab either in the local establishment media or in the underground press. The ads would claim things like, “We develop anything…no questions asked…we love dirty pix too..we buy your good stuff – the raunchier, the better.” Sign the ads with the name of the lab or its owner.