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At last, something to replace the old balm in the jock stunt so hoary to so many of us old sports from the scholastic locker-room wars. Yes, a tip of the old helmet to C. B. Gunslinger for this idea.

“I was the last guy out of the locker room after the morning practice one day last summer, because I wanted to get back at this football animal for some cheap hits he’d taken at me. I got his helmet off the top of his locker and pissed in it, making sure I basted the mouthpiece heavily. “That afternoon, I was laughing so hard at the thought of this jerk thinking the moisture in the own sweat that the coach gave me hell for not being serious enough. If he only knew…” says C. B. with another big roar of joviality.

The moral to this Sports story, as all coaches like morals is, “Don’t get your teammates pissed off at you.”

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