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John Hansen of Boulder, Colorado, takes a more passive but no less creative approach in his revenge.

He has had permastick slogans printed to slap on an offender’s premises or equipment. For example, if a vending machine fails to deliver, Hansen slaps it with a sticker reading, THIS MACHINE STEALS MONEY. For restaurants, Hansen has stickers that read, HORRIBLE FOOD, or LOUSY SERVICE. The stickers can be placed on the table or counter, or on the windows and doors of the establishment.

His other stickers include THIS MOVIE RATED BLAH for questionable cinematic efforts, MY TAXES PAID FOR THIS? to be placed on examples of government or public foolishness, FILTHY RESTROOMS, for either food-service or gasoline stations, and INEPT NERD for offending civil servants or irritating store clerks.

For the simpleminded who park supidly in one or more spaces, Hansen tags their vehicles with WAY TO PARK, ACE. He has a bunch of NO MORE JUNK MAIL — RETURN TO SENDER stickers to affix to people’s mailboxes. Enraged by the oil companies, John Hansen printed a new sticker for the first time in mid-1979 — PRICE GOUGER — which adorns hundreds of service-station gasoline pumps. In many cases, equally irritated station owners are not removing the stickers.

Hansen has a huge variety of stickers, including examples such as RIPOFF; PAID UNDER PROTEST; YES I MIND, DON’T SMOKE; RUDE DRIVER; GAS HOG; and an entire selection of adult stickers that feature hilariously nasty slogans whose R rating places them out of Family Hour. I have used Hansen’s stickers, and they are wonderful. For a worthwhile sample kit, send $1 to Consumer Comments, Box 175, Niwot, Colorado 80544.

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