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Tailgaters

When moldy motorheads used to drive behind me in the typical tailgate approach, I used to slow down to fifteen MPH. But this usually inconvenienced me more than it irritated them. I was overjoyed a few years ago when I saw a bumper sticker on a car parked in a small lot near Washington, It read *Honk if You’re an Asshole*.

“Perfect idea,” I said aloud to myself. “All we need to do is add the word “tailgating” before “asshole” or “tailgater” after it.”

Another antitailgating tactic comes from Wise King Cobra who uses a two-phase toggle switch to back the bastards away from his vehicle. His first switch is hooked to his brake lights, and when some yo-yo crawls up Cobra’s bumper, he hits that switch. A few flicks and some tailgaters back off. Others need more of an adrenalin boost. That’s what the second switch is for. It is hooked to the Cobra’s backup lights.

“It’s damn tough to follow someone as close as tailgater does and not get that loose-bowel feeling when you see backup lights flare up right in your face. They *always* fall back after that. I’ve even seen some run off the road. That’s a wonderful feeling.”


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