Claude Pederast, a former Western Union employee, writes to inform us that his ex-employer has an unofficial habit of reading customer messages in a covert fashion.
“Western Union computers are programmed to hit on certain key words when they automatically process telegrams,” Claude informs us. “Words such as *gun, drugs, sex, assassination, terrorist, riot, and conspiracy,* will all trip in the computer.”
I’m sure our readers could make good use of this intelligence.
As you already know, the late H. Allen Smith is one of my favorite humorists. He used a worthy technique on a mark, sending him an express telegram that read, “Vital that you ignore my previous telegram.” That’s it. That’s enough.